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Are there other children who are panicked to grow up?

Are there any other tweens out there who have anxiety about getting older? We now have to call my son's 12 bday this saturday his 11.2 birthday. He seems to think he's going on 60. Now a little background. His birthday is the 30th of July and school always starts the first Monday in March. Every year his anxiety level the week before his birthday goes through the roof. Now I understand part of it... Happy Birthday! NOW GO TO THE NEXT GRADE LEVEL!

I can understand how that can cause pressure, but I don't know how to help him relax and realilze that a birthday is just a celebration and it doesn't mean I'm going to box up his legos.



I hate seeing him go through this every year... any help out there?

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hollydaze1974

Asked by hollydaze1974 at 1:36 PM on Jul. 29, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,912 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Hey I am 61 and that is not old!!!!lol! mine never did and if they did did not tell me, just let him sort it out by himself...............these days it can be intimidating to grow!
    older

    Answer by older at 1:40 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • :) no sixty is not old, but it's a far cry from just turning 12
    hollydaze1974

    Comment by hollydaze1974 (original poster) at 1:42 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • I was just kidding, apparently he is too smart for his own good, and sees growing up as dangerous and hard work, he will be ok.....
    older

    Answer by older at 1:43 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • and by the way 60 is old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 1:43 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • im pretty sure its just a phase, hopefully with time it will get better. have you tried explaining to him he is only turning 12??? hes not even a teenager yet! maybe its not the age, maybe theres a problem with going to the next grade level, he might be scared.
    stopmommielee10

    Answer by stopmommielee10 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • oh yeah, I've tried every thing I can think of. Talked about that he'll feel no different as a 12 yr old as he does now. I've told him that they ease into school... first week locker, expectations, books, and then like three weeks of review. That most chldren look forward to getting older because they can stay up later and eventually drive... all of that.

    We still say a very basic prayer at nite when I tuck him in... Last nite I told him that if he was 17 and still wanted me to tuck him in and say the prayer, I would be delighted to do so. That has been the only thing that seemed to relax him. He rises to the occasion everytime, but the tears and worry for this last week of summer just kill me.
    hollydaze1974

    Comment by hollydaze1974 (original poster) at 1:52 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • It is a phase My oldest Gracie went through it for a couple years age 8-10. He will grow out of it and just enjoy life like my daughter did don't worry.
    Jenny.Ann85

    Answer by Jenny.Ann85 at 8:49 PM on Jul. 29, 2011

  • Thanks, Jenny, I'll try not to worry, but you know how we mom's are. I'm just glad to know he isn't the only who has dealt with this
    hollydaze1974

    Comment by hollydaze1974 (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Jul. 30, 2011

  • I would have him write a list about what scares him, makes him nervous and what the pluses are of the next age. That will give you an idea of what is going on in his head. He is probably worried about going up a grade right after his birthday as well as changes in his body. Those latter conversations need to start happening now, proferably with his father. If you are concerned about how he is adjusting to school, ask the school counselor to check in with him once in awhile. You can also remind him of how he has been successful in the past even though he had concerns. I know a young man who just didn't want he childhood to end. He had mixed feelings about being 18. He isn't necessarily immature, he just loved and appreciated being a kid all those years.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 4:10 PM on Aug. 1, 2011

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