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I have ill feelings toward my son

I have a 5 year old. I have had difficulty with him since he was born. I have this feeling of dislike and guilt when it comes to him. I sometimes feel as if I don't like him at all. I also have a 2 year old and there is a differnce with how I treat them (coming from other people who notice). I yell him all the time and I always push him away when he wants to be near me. I hate that I feel this way but I don't know how to change.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Dec. 20, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • This may sound a little forward, but you may need a little bit of counseling to help you understand why you treat you son this way. I would honestly seek some professional help before your anger and it sounds like resentment towards him gets out of hand and the relationship can't be salvaged. I wish you all the luck and hope that you can have a happy holiday.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:11 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • yeah mama you need to talk to someone asap
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 8:13 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Get help.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:25 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Are the children from different fathers?That was my first thought. You do need help with this before it gets more out of control.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 8:30 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Yes they are from different father's. My son's father was abusive so I left him when I was pregnant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • you need help cause that is not natural,
    do you maybe have a family history of mental illness (depression, bi-polar, ect)?
    if they are from different fathers do you have ill feelings toward the first father?
    i hope you can fix this before there is irrepareable damage done to your relationship with him
    good luck and i hope you get help for this
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 8:34 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • You definately need counseling. You cannot raise a child like this. You are psychologically damaging that poor child. It is totally not fair to do that to a child. A mother should love all her children the same. One child should not be favored over another. Please seek counseling immediately. Give that child a great chance in life, he didn't ask to be born to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I don't need someone telling me that he didn't ask to be born and he shouldn't be treated this way. I know that. What I asked for is help changing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • He probably has some mannerisms or physical traits that remind you of your ex... whether you're realize it or not - you're punishing him for hating his father. You need to see a counselor to help you with this. No one answer is going to do it. You've made the first steps by acknowledging there is a problem. My son was adopted by my husband and there are times when I "see" his biodad in things he does - it makes my skin crawl. You're only human and NOT a bad Mom. The fact that you care enough to ask shows this. Get help getting over the hurt, heal, and hopefully you guys will be just fine.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 8:57 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Serafyna hit it right on the button!!! Listen to everyone and please seek help. Nothing wrong with it. It will make you a better person/mother. You don't want your son growing up hating you for the feeling of not wanting him or loving him and that is the road you are going down...
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 9:05 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

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