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3 Bumps

My sister???

My sister is 51 years old and i am 46 years old. For as long as i can remember, she has always been a mean, nasty person. About 6 years ago, My Mother came between me and my sisters relationship and me and my Sister, parted ways!....It was not nice of my Mother to do this...But, she is a mean and nasty person also!!

Well, about 2 years ago, My Sister came back into my life, Due to our Mother's illness at the time, And have since been talking and being more like Sisters should be. But, i keep finding that with every remark i make to her, She always comes back with a nasty comment or rude remark!...And honestly, I am getting sick of it!...

I know she sees me as her, "Little Sister", and I know at times that i don't always necessarily act my age or make the right decisions. But, she always makes me feel like Shit!!!....Pardon the Pun!

I am also tired of always being her "Sounding Board" and then she turns and treats me just like our Mother treated us. (We both don't talk to our Mother, For this reason).....She is the only family i have left, Other than my two kids....But, how much is a person supposed to take?......I try not to contact her for like two weeks or more, So that i won't feel this way...But, then she accuses me of not caring!......Are you kidding me???

Right now, i feel like telling her to take a hike!....And really tell her what's on my mind!

What do you think??.....Sorry so long!~

Answer Question
 
gogogirl79

Asked by gogogirl79 at 10:11 AM on Jul. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,967 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I had to cut my off my older sister and I have never looked back, she was just drama all the time.

    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:38 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • This may not be "right" in everyone's eyes but I have found out in my 41 years if you do not stand up for yourself the other person will keep right on walking all over you. You can tell here how you feel and how tired you are of being treated that way and still tell your sister you love her because she is your sister and you want her in your life but not if she cannot treat you any better. Tell her along the way to put herself in your shoes how would she feel if you done her that way or ask her how she felt when your Mother done her that way. Ask her what she would so if you were being that way to her. Just let her know how much you love her and want her in your life but if she cant treat you any better you are going to have to do what is best for you.
    kim4kids923

    Answer by kim4kids923 at 10:38 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • My aunt was in this position a few months back except it was with her brother. they ended up not takig for years because of it. then in feb, he passed away. it was a shock to everyone bc he was still rather young when he died. the funeral was so horrible for my aunt bc she regreted not speaking to him for so long.

    i would hate for this to happen between you and your sister. doesnt mean you two have to have the closes relationship but i think you should talk and visit in small doses. just try and make a little bit of an effort so you can always say i tried....
    ky_mommy2010

    Answer by ky_mommy2010 at 10:41 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • Instead of telling her to "Take a Hike" maybe you should just express to her how you feel. Let her know that you're an adult and don't need to be treated like a child. That you also don't appreciate her snide and backwards remarks. Sure, she might just come back with a nasty comment, but it's important that you express your feelings to her. You never know, it may turn out in your favor.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:42 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • Wow, I am sure you are not alone dealing with family drama. Life is so short and you never really know if you will take your last breath today so I am always a believer in settling things right while you have the chance to do so. Maybe a little family sitdown is in order, including the mother you said you don't talk to...and any other siblings, parent there is, and lay it all out on the table but don't let it turn it to a war of words. Unfortunately whatever has happened in the past you cannot change so forgive and forget and start over treating each other with the mutual respect and kindess you all deserve. Don't wait till it is too late and you are at a funeral regretting that you never made things right because at that point you are way too late. Good Luck
    blueeyes22

    Answer by blueeyes22 at 10:47 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family....
    but you CAN choose to remain close to family or part ways.. and sometimes when there is still such rivalry it's best to just part ways.. be polite about it, if she accuses you of not caring, say you are busy... if she harasses you, just don't take her calls for a while... if she calls and is polite in return, then sure take the call and be polite back, but once she makes a comment that is not appropriate, give a simple, "i've got to go" and hang up..
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:48 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • Wow!...This is some great advice ladies...And i will take it to heart and try to make the right decision, for me!.....I appreciate you ladies taking the time to help me in my time of need!........

    Thanks again!......And have a spectacular day!....:)
    gogogirl79

    Comment by gogogirl79 (original poster) at 10:50 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • Please sit and talk to her and honestly tell her how you feel. Let her know that you love her, but that you are not going to let her talk ugly to you and that if she does, you will get up and leave. You don't have to put up with hateful remarks and comments just because she is your sister and you are younger than her. Maybe she doesn't realize that she is actiing like that and you can help her change her attitude and be a happier person.
    KatherynMR

    Answer by KatherynMR at 11:13 AM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • My mom and her sister are going through the same exact thing...

    My advice is to give her an inch and see what she does with it, say this to her:

    "Your my sister and I love and respect you so much and confide in you for many things. As part of my family I get to have someone who is here for me when i am doing poorly to listen to me and hold my hand and there for me when I am doing wonderful to help cheer me on. This is a role I cherish very much and try and project onto you as well. I feel that if that type of relationship is not what we have, then our roles are misconstrued and need to be re-evaluated. I need a sister and a friend from you so we can continue to grow closer as a family. This is without the feeling of judgment or negativity on either sides of our relationship, let's just be here for each other with no strings attached."

    That is what i would say, if you want to be strict but not to hurt anyone's feelings.
    morganonmic

    Answer by morganonmic at 6:40 PM on Jul. 31, 2011

  • Sadly I have a horrid lil sister. Nobody stands up to her, for fear of not getting to see her kids, not that we really ever do anyway. She is stuck up and thinks her shit dont stink, that kind of person. Never keeps her word, steals from you, lies to you, but your the white trash not her of corse.. anywho.. as sad as it can be, sometimes enough is enough and we just have to walk away. I pray for her but I don't and wont speak to her. I'm sick of her bullshit, sick of her looking down on me and my family. I have to protect myself and my kids. We don't need somebody like that in our lives. Hope it gets better and sorry you have to go through this. *hugs*
    Eko

    Answer by Eko at 6:48 PM on Jul. 31, 2011

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