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he broke another promise to the would you react?

my ex promised to be here early this morning to watch the kids open their xmas gifts and have dinner with us we had this planned for 2 weeks and when he was here last night he told my kids he be here when they woke up...and no show i called and text to see what happened i know i cant make him be a man and step up but i had 3 very upset kids, then he said he be here for dinner @2 and he came up with another bs excuse of why he cant come over. and again i text him to see what happened and now he tellin ppl at his work that im keeping the kids from him...i dont see how i am and dont know why he is doing this any thoughts? and i save the text that i sent asking him why he wasnt here...


Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Dec. 20, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • My ex does the same sort of things with our children. I worry that it will mess them up in the long run and they will be mad at me too. I've tried the not seeing dad thing and it never works. I'm going to try the either you see the kids or they won't be in your life anymore thing next. He needs to make up his mind on what is important to him. But don't feel bad if it's not the kids. He will have to live with the choices he's made and one day he will have to answer to the children. That's what I have realized.

    Answer by TNGirl420 at 2:24 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • my dad did the same thing for the longest time
    his new wife did not like the fact he had other kids
    that wernt hers
    so she would never let him see us no matter wut he promsed
    but everyting changed when they got devorced

    Answer by 19bubbles91 at 10:24 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • thing with him is he isnt with anyone else.....i just dont get my he has to play these minf games and hurt my kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • then just tell him that if he brakes another promise then he wont see the kids for a week
    maybe that week will make him relize how much it hurts the kids when he says he will be there but is not

    Answer by 19bubbles91 at 10:28 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • You can't be responsible for his actions. My x did the same thing all the time. If the kids ask why dad didn't show just put the ball in his court and tell them "we'll ask him the next time he comes over". Hold him responsible to the kids, or have the kids hold him responsible. You step back and let them talk to him straight up.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:43 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • you think that the kids one one day realize that all he is a lair? i dont want them to have a messed up life like i did cause my ex cant be a man and step up?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Furious my moto is if you can't keep it just don't make it to begin with. I hate broken promises. And honestly my dad did things like that with me growing up... and I really did not like visiting him. I counted the minutes down till I got to go back to my moms and even slept as much as I could to make the time pass faster. Kind of sad.

    Answer by dtetz at 10:49 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I think they will see him for what he is as they get older...and that goes both ways. My father was an excellent father and my mother was a piss poor excuse for a mother. She would tell me all the time that he was no good and how we didn't have money for anything. As I got older, I was able to see the child support checks that came every month...I was able to see that SHE had money for the things she wanted while I did father called me every day even if it was just for a minute...I did end up moving with him when I was 12 or 13 and things were great...but they will see by his own actions that it isn't your fault and he was not a good father to them. It probably takes longer than you would hope, but its ok.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 11:15 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • My biological father did the very same thing to my sister and I when we were young. My mother told him that if he didn't make and take the time to spend with us when we were little, there probably won't be time later as we got older. And that is how it ended. Just let him know how crushal this time is when they are young. If he really cares then he will do the right thing.

    Answer by BBowMommy at 11:39 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • You will really damage the kids if you keep setting them up for failure and dissapointment... From now on, Go on with your Life....... (and keep quiet to the kids about any possible upcoming plans from the father/ex whatever).. What they don't know can't hurt them......... He'll continue to let themm down, so You have to control the situation and protect them from it... and that starts by keeping quiet to them about things that he may not end up coming through on... Your the mother, your to protect.

    Answer by Kay300 at 11:39 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

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