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2 Bumps

Relationship with in-laws ...unwanted

My inlaws have done more than their share to make me feel unwelcome since my dh and I got together. Before we were married my FIL, MIL and BIL referred to me as an outsider and said I was not a part of their family-and still do. When I was 8 months pregnant, his father called and asked me to move out so his ex wife my MIL could live with my dh (?). They would have family get together's and my dh would invite me and I would reject him, knowing all too well what would happen (his mother has been verbally and physically aggressive towards me in the past). I have a son from a previous relationship whom they treat pretty much just as bad as me and he's only 4. I now have a son with him and he wants me to go around and entertain his family. He's even said 'You don't have to go but I'll take the baby," with no mention of my son. Im not having it. My mom has even said not to trust his family around my child, because his mom has shown very unstable characteristics (she threw something at me when I was 9 months pregnant, had she hit me I'd had a miscarriage). I'm planning on telling him whats going to happen and whats not and he can take it or leave it, but I'm honestly not interested in being involved with my in-laws, jerks is to say the least what they've been to me, my son and even my dh- yet he forces the relationship anyway. I know your kids should have a relationship with both sides but they made it clear in the past they didn't want one now the baby is here and things suddenly change?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 AM on Aug. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Here's what i've done (i'm going through the same thing) i've told my husband that he can have a relationship with his parents but until they can respect me they will have no part in our daughters lives (i haven't seen them in nearly 8 months) and they have threatened me with taking me to court and that was the last straw for me....your children are better off without them in their lives and as for him taking the baby i would be telling him over your dead body they will eventually turn your children against you and you'll never be able to forgive yourself protect your kids and if he doesn't like it too bad again your kids don't need them in their lives if your inlaws can't see you as family then they don't get to see your children good luck if you need someone to talk to PM me i'm going through this right now and am winning the battle
    krissii

    Answer by krissii at 7:59 PM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • The physical abuse is unacceptable. If it is done to you what could they do to you children. I am with your mom. Keep your children away from them. If they must be around them, do not leave you children alone with them and make sure you husband knows and does the same.

    armywife199556

    Answer by armywife199556 at 7:04 AM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • Don't take it let him know how uyou feel if he doesn'tlike what u tell him than i think you should leave thats awful of how they treat you and your four yr old don't take the abuse and don't let that sweet child go throught that
    danae123

    Answer by danae123 at 6:44 AM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • I would not "tell him whats going to happen and whats not" I would approach it a little different let him know your feeling and stand your ground. But if you approach it the other way you may be in for a fight. I would not allow my child around that either.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 8:38 AM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • I would be scared silly to let either of my children near his family without me there.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:37 AM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • I would tell him that if they want the baby to be in their family, you an your son come with the package, all or nothing. Why isn't he more upset about how they treat you? They should begin by saying sorry for the past.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:27 PM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • Of course they change. Now it's their grandson. Of course he is part of their family. I would have a long talk with dh and figure out what each of you want. No relationship is probably not a good position to take but you can certainly tell him you expect to be treated like one of the family and that goes for your older son too. If it's important to him to take the baby, but he doesn't care about whether you or your son go, I'd consider you lucky but you have to decide what you want that relationship to look like. Expect that he won't leave the baby with his mother and that he will insist on their respect of you and your son when you are around. This is time for compromise or better yet, a win/win situation if you can get there. Kids should have both famiies in their lives if at all possible. You can also stand up for yourself to his family. Do everything you can for peace between you and your husband.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 2:21 PM on Aug. 1, 2011

  • You need to let your husband handle his parents thats exacty what i had to do especially when they were trying to claim that our child wasnt his and that he needed a dna test he told them NO! and he didnt and she looks exactly like him and anytime they try to treat me wrong he handles it
    KColeman90

    Answer by KColeman90 at 9:32 PM on Aug. 1, 2011

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