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daddy drama! so i have made 3 unecessary trips to this child support hearings. 1st one he didnt show, 2nd one he's an hour late and i was already home and we all know gas is not cheap. 3rd time i was late because of my son's dr appt. and he catches a damn attitude and says we'll just reschdule. i just want this BOY out of my daughters life, my husband has been taking care of her since she was born (20 months ago). He all of the sudden started calling me at odd hours just "to talk"

am i wrong for dreading him wanting to be here now after a year in an half? when he has never truly made the effort. i have given him chances to be there but he has turned me down. i cant take this stress, is there a way i can just have my husband adopt her? or terminate his rights? am i wrong for wanting that?

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Vaehsmommy1106

Asked by Vaehsmommy1106 at 9:54 AM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • I honestly cant say I know what your going through. But I dont blame you either.You dont need the stress and your daughter can tell that your going through a tough time with him and she will take it out on him in the end. Maybe even without knowing she is or knowing why she is. Is he ready to give all his rights? Just ask him plain out... when he calls for one of his chats.
    ohiomommy77

    Answer by ohiomommy77 at 10:24 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • If you have no need to talk to him, you can ask the phone company to block his number.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:51 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • Well I am sure you are stressed. I see you live in Maryland? well you can contact a lawyer to speak with them about what the process is usually they will talk to you for free. I did google Grounds for termination of parental rights Maryland.
    http://library.adoption.com/termination-of-parental-rights/grounds-for-termination-of-parental-rights-maryland/article/8533/1.html


    Maybe you can read this and get a better idea of what your rights are. I don't think you can just get his rights taken away if he is a good man and wants to be in her life. I really hope things get better for you soon as well. I would also speak to the phone company about blocking him like the pp stated.
    Good luck!
    Sarah

    1boy1girl4me

    Answer by 1boy1girl4me at 2:53 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • You need to speak with a family law attorney in your area. Laws are different in every state. My hubby was able to adopt my daughter in arkansas after no contact or support from her father in 18 mos.
    Jazak

    Answer by Jazak at 3:48 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • hmm usually the father has to give up the rights to the child for the other man to adopt. But probably vaires from state to state.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • It may be hard, but he should have the chance to be there for his child, even if he has not been doing it the way you want. I don't think he should be calling you if it makes you uncomfortable, but people can change. I just met my father this year, as an adult in my 30s I have to say that I disagree with the choices my mom made back in 1971 and it has added stress to our relationship. I don't know your details, but don't kick him out of the baby's life. Enjoy your happiness with your husband. You deserve that happiness, but don't block a possible relationship with your ex and child. He may not stick around, but then you will honestly be able to say, "I tried to work it out so you could know him." Just my advice, as someone who has been there so to speak.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 7:58 AM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • My baby's father had to be notified. He had the opportunity to contest the adoption. He chose not to contest, but even if he had it was unlikely that the judge would have sided with him. He had opportunity to ,contact me and try to see her. I was still taking my daughter to see his mom as well as he 2 kids from a previous marriage. He made no effort. DH was providing for her financially, emotionally and any other way.
    Jazak

    Answer by Jazak at 9:58 AM on Jul. 17, 2008

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