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how to get my child to leason to me

my 4 yr old talks back to me and will not leason to me when i tell her to do something, she will yell at me. I need help i dont know waht to do anymore i put her in time out and it dont work.

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Asked by Morden at 9:57 AM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • My four year went through this too. Be consistant with her, she will know who is boss! It takes time but will happen. It took about a month with my daughter. But it worked. Keep in mind that she is still putty in your hands at this age. My son is going to be 7 and all the sudden decided not to listen again. It is harder to deal with him right now. but on the other hand, she sees him getting into trouble and she acts better. This isnt your first child right? Get your older kids to help you out and back you up. It will help more then you think! your daughter looks up to them for guidence even if she doesnt think she does. Good Luck hun and remember, God only gives us what he knows we can handle.

    Answer by ohiomommy77 at 10:22 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • If you belive in discipline there is spanking not beating there is a differance it might stun her but she wont cry because it hurts she will cry because she is not getting her way or shock that she got introuble there is also putting her to bed, have her lay in bed without toys stuffed animals or anything and tell her if she gets up she is going to be in BIG trouble.

    Answer by phoebematthew at 12:40 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • see email

    my response was too long


    Answer by TeresaofSC at 12:58 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • At such a young age, she is still all Imitation. What examples is she seeing around her or receiving herself (in the family, at daycare?) of people yelling at one another? Also, instead of TELLING her, use her natural impulse for imitation at this age. Talk less - a LOT less. Time to pick up toys? YOU start picking up, include her by having her hold the basket while YOU put things into it; have her hold the other end of a sheet and work together to fold it up. Children naturally LOVE to do things WITH you. You can't call out orders from the couch or the kitchen - if YOU don't want to bother with doing something, then she will follow your example and not want to, either! … (cont’d)

    Answer by waldorfmom at 8:14 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • … With a child under 7, her will-power is a force independent of the child’s self: she cannot control it any more than she can control her digestion. She MUST imitate the examples she sees, she MUST fulfill a will impulse once it is triggered. How unfortunate to imagine that she is, like you are, in control of what she does. How sad to interpret disobedience at this age as a battle of wills which needs to be won. How sad to view one’s child as an enemy combatant. And it becomes tragic as the child grows older bereft of an approving mother who is on her side.

    Answer by waldorfmom at 8:15 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES. You have to set logical consequences that make sense to what she's doing. Time out does not work! For example, if she refuses to clean up her room b/c she wants to watch TV, take away the TV. If she is miss-using a certain toy, take it away. Explain why she's not allowed to do something, "Cuz I said so" will not work. She needs to understand why and what she did wrong and she needs to know consequences. You could also try positive reinforcement. Have a weekly chart and at the end of each day she gets a sticker if she had a good day, at the end of the week, if she got all good stickers, she can get a little treat or extra TV time.

    Answer by MrsP777 at 4:51 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

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