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need some advice

My bf is spending a lot of time in his basement instead of spending it with me. He claims to have a lot to do (straightening up) but there have been a couple of times when I've gone down there and he's bsing with his friend. There have even been instances where he hasn't even been there. When I've asked where he's been he says his friends house. I actually confronted him about him cheating and he gets all defensive and says i'd never cheat on you. I know in the past he has been cheated on so I don't think he'd do it, but I've been cheated on by my ex and some of the signs are similar. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Am I just paranoid? I'm beginning to not care where he goes or what he does but i don't want to live like that. Thats not a relationship. any suggestions on what i should do

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Wow, sit down with him and talk to him. Ask him if you can tag along.
    Pixiemaid

    Answer by Pixiemaid at 11:00 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • Just because he has been cheated on doesnt mean he wont cheat. You should sit down with him and tell him how you feel.
    JonahsMom1107

    Answer by JonahsMom1107 at 11:21 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I would certainly talk with him about boundaries in the relationship and tell him what you expect of him and ask what he expects from you. How does he think a relationship will thrive if it's not given attention? Guys do like to be alone in their Man Cave to think about things according to John Gray's book on Men from Mars and Women from Venus but he still needs to devote time and attention to you. And tell him to quit sneaking out of the house or you'll tell his mother! lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:27 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I agree that you need to have a discussion with him. But, if you're beginning to not care, then I would sit down and self-reflect on whether or not you still want to be in this relationship. There's no shame in saying you don't. It could be that you are just growing in different directions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • some guys just like hanging out with friends and not feel tied down.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:04 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

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