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You and your husband.

I have been married/together 5-6 years we are so happy we work well together, we compliment each other, life is good better than ever. But I can’t help to look back and think of how things use to be. I use to know everything he did during the day he would come home and tell me everything. We would just sit and talk on the couch. He would call me just to say hi. Send me text messages saying I love you. We kissed more we held hands more. We said I love you more. He has never bought me flowers ever but he use to pick up little things here and there and give them to me with a card. He practically worshipped the ground I walked on. When we went out to eat he would only look at me, it was like no one was around us. I told him all this the other night he said you know I love you so much but people change everyone knows that. We have more important things to do then sit and make out all day. Anyone else feel this way.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Dec. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • yeah, we have more things to do than just sit around and make out all day, i totally believe that. but a flower or gift every now and then, no, i don't think we should outgrow that. that's something that helps out with the marriage, it keeps the love in it. even if it's just something like doing the dishes without being asked.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 5:47 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • o gosh absolutly! ive beeen with my husby for 4 years and going,..we used to do all that you described,..and slowly but surely things begin t o change,..i know he still loves me and all but yea i def feel weird about it sometimes! but before he used to bring me home a flower he picked from walking home from work! and yea...nie things!
    amysmomma505

    Answer by amysmomma505 at 5:49 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • OP here i just hate that things have changed i feel like i cant cope/deal/accept that. Im not saying we have to make out all day. Im just saying everything has changed and im so sad about it i feel like every year something else just starts to go away. I feel like i miss the old him so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • My husband and I are also happy. We don't talk as much as we used to. But we're still very much in love. We give eachother little kisses when we pass eachother. He used to bring me presents just because he was thinking of me. He doesn't do that as much anymore.

    I think that so long as you're happy the other stuff kind of doesn't matter as much. And when they're not done as often as they used to be they become more special. Like a treat.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 5:58 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • amethystrse- Thank you that helped
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I really believe that at the beginning of a relationship (within the first 2 years, sometimes a little shorter, sometimes a little longer) both men and women will do things out of the ordinary for them personally to win over the other person. We really enjoy seeing that our efforts are working and we fall in love. Then....our real personalities come out. Continued below...
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 6:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I read a great book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It explains that partners "speak" different languages to show their love. Some show their love through gifts, some through acts of service, some through words of affirmation, some through quality time and some through physical touch. We may think that a proper way to show love is to give gifts while our spouse goes to work everyday to provide for their family and interprets his/her act of service as showing love. When we don't speak the same language and don't realize that the other person does love us...they just don't show it in the way that we expect, things can get sticky.
    My husband definetely speaks the "Acts of Service" way of love while I speak "Quality Time." He goes to work everyday while I stay home with my daughter and provides for our family.
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 6:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • In return, he feels loved when I do acts of service like clean the house and cook dinner for him. So...I give a little and he gives a little; I like to spend time alone on a date once a week (quality time). We make an effort to make eachother feel loved.
    Sorry! I realized I wrote a lot!! LOL
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 6:09 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Well I know he says I love you when he changes my oil but I need a bit more romance from time to time too. So we have to work hard at reinventing our relationship. Life gets in the way and you lose sight of what really brought you together in the first place. I think from what you have told us he still loves and cares about you...maybe a date night here and there would be good for both of you.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 8:22 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • well always in the begging of a relationship it is always good but if true things change after awhile but that normal i guess
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 6:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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