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How do I handle this?

I married and have moved away from home. My problem is this...I have been away from home for almost 20 years, I then tried to move back home (missing family, especially sisters). Well, after a few months I came back to where I moved from. My mother thinks I should have stayed there and thinks my boyfriend is the reason I moved back (he moved with me there). Now that I am back "home" all I have with mother is arguements and now she tells me that I have kicked my family in the teeth and have thrown them away. I love my family and would never do that. Now she tells me to leave her alone and live my life so she can be happy and live hers. But, she keeps calling and arguing to the point where I don't even answer my phone anymore. My sisters don't call and boy I miss our conversations...I tried my best moving back but things change as you get older and aren't the same. I have even told mother this.

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slowpokesgirl

Asked by slowpokesgirl at 7:22 PM on Dec. 21, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (2)
  • It's a tough situation I know. My mother often played the victim and claimed that I used my kids to hurt her - because I married a man she told me not to marry and in the end he ended up being unfaithful and emotionally abusive. We split and I moved, with my two girls, back into my mom's house. After a year I moved to NJ so the kids could be closer to their father, so then I was the bad guy because of that but I eventually moved back. Now I've got a great boyfriend and he lives primarily in both Miami and Chicago, we happened to run into each other when he was visiting my state and we kept in touch. So now if me and the kids spend an extended amount of time with him in either of those places she gets mad and all we do is fight. I simply hold my tongue and when I do visit I try my best to get along. You should call your sisters and ask them why they don't call you anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Have you thought about how your sisters feel aout your mom? Is she like this with them? Maybe you could have a meeting with your sisters and your mom... talk about it? Or you could try to be the bigger person... send her nice cards, flowers, leave her notes and messages that you love her and you miss having her in your life.. kill her with kindness...see what she does.. if she tries to argue you tell her mom I love and and Im gonna go now.. I am not arguing. It is a tought situation and I wish you luck
    photojournalist

    Answer by photojournalist at 8:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

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