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honest question. please read.

we are a family of 3 1/2. we rent. i would like to be able to buy a house in the future. i am a SAHM, only because child care is too expensive and we dont have family or friends to babysit. DH works 40 hours a week in retail [not good pay] and also has a PT job, about 12 hours or so a week [also retail]. he also gets garnished for Child Support. we get foodstamps and WIC. if we didnt have to, we wouldnt. we always end up short every month. i will begin an online school in january to obtain a associates degree to hopefully get a better job when kids begin school. so does anyone have any suggestions on how to make life better for the future? from personal experience? would DH joining military help us? what have you and your SO/DH done?? any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. this has left our family very stressed out!!
[i know it doesnt belong in this category... no one would answer it in money & work]

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • My husband looked into joining the military, the benefits are good but the pay is lousy. Our military needs to payed a lot more then they do. I would just do what your doing, going back to school is a great idea I would also see about getting a job at night (yes it sucks) but if your husband works days then you don't have to worry about childcare.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 7:34 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • From experience I have received food stamps and cash assistance a few years ago. In 2004 I went to nursing school while my husband (fiance at the time) worked in customer service. Not the best money but we survived. There were even times we got our change together for gas. I also lived in subsidized housing so this helped a lot. Our youngest was not yet one and our oldest was 3. It was hard and stressful and plenty of days we hated each other but we did it. I am now a nurse. Have been one since 2006 and my husband has a better job. I am the primary bread winner whcih does cause some issues from time to time but we are so thankful to be where we are now.
    BusyB-Mommy

    Answer by BusyB-Mommy at 7:35 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • It will take time but honestly that is the reason why these programs exsist. to help people who need help who will help themselves and in return help out the next person in the situation. We also considered the military but due to a stupid decision as a 19 year old my husband can never do it. Good luck and message me if you want to talk.
    BusyB-Mommy

    Answer by BusyB-Mommy at 7:35 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I dont know that I have the right answers for you... only that I have been on both ends. I am divorced and had it all our entire marriage. I have three kids.. he wont pay child support which is a legal battle. But I now struggle each and every month because I have nothing that I was supposed to have... millions of dollars worth of real estate gone. I just want to say just do the best you can... and always find a blessing at the end of each day.. count them.. write them down. Live by faith and not by sight. Do all you can and try even if its hard to not stress about it. If you are doing the best you can.. then you are now doing all you can do. Love your children and they will love you back.. dont get caught up in how hard it is... it will consume you and take over your feelings.
    photojournalist

    Answer by photojournalist at 7:58 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • My husband was in the military before I met him, and still is. Yes, when we first got married the pay wasn't the best. Your hubby can always come in as an Officer (if he has went to college) or he can come in as a Warrant Officer (my hubby is one) My hubby was Enlisted for 9 years then went Warrant...the pay was a big difference! The benefits are excellent. If you have any more questions about the military, please feel free to send me a message...I can only answer from the Army point of view.
    xBuriedx13

    Answer by xBuriedx13 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I have a family of four. I am currently a SAHM... not by choice (although I love my children) but because I am having difficulty finding another job. I currently receive W.I.C. and will be receiving food stamps for the time being. My hubby also works 40 hrs. a week as a department manager in retail. I will be attending college soon if I qualify for financial aid and working toward a better career. My best advice is to keep on keeping on as they say. Juggle what you can and keep working toward a better future. As long as you continue to work at it things will eventually fall into place. Your children have loving parents, a roof over their heads, and food in their bellies so by all means you are doing well with your children.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 8:14 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I think you have the right idea. Get a degree - I would look at nursing (getting your RN) a lot of local colleges have started to offer this and it can be obtained in 2-3 years tops. Faster if you take heavy course loads and take advantage of summer semesters. Great money, high demand. Then once you have a career with education --- get your hubby back in school. Figure out what he wants to do and get him an education for it while you work. Get him out of retail, it will never pay much and the benefits suck. (My best friend did retail for 10 years) It will take time, but the payoff will be rewarding emotionally and financially. Have a plan and stick to it. You can do it! Good luck Momma!
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 8:28 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • There are other medical careers you can get certified even faster -- like a sonogram technician. Find something you *want* to do with a realistic education requirement and go for it. That would serve you better then a generic associates degree.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 8:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • My best friend and her husband are in the Navy. They both are making about $36,000 a year and both have only been enlisted for 2 1/2 years. They moved off base and live in an apartment. They get BAH (I think its called) which is where you get funds to pay for your housing and such. They both receive about $900 a month in BAH on top of what they get in their regular pay. So their housing is completely paid for because their rent is only about $800 a month and then with the other persons money they pay the other bills so the rest of their money that they are actually making they spend on car payments and whatever else they want or need. We are in VA so I know the cost of living here is lower than other states so thats something to be considered as well. Just save as much as you can...look into getting daycare assistance also so you can at least make a little extra cash that you can put away for later.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 10:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • The military is a good option depending on what branch of service. If you value your family time I don't recommend going Army or Marines. I'm going to assume the Navy would be in the same boat (no pun intended) as the Marines as far as time away from family. The Air Force has the best deployment set up IMO. It doesn't have to be your husband who goes in the military either. You can go too. The benefits, regardless of branch, are really good and if you select certain jobs you could even get a sign on bonus. You want to choose your job wisely too though because some jobs are more prone to deployment than others and all the way around have longer hours and more demands than others. My husband works on aircraft so he has a high deployment rate and works weekends etc. I am administrative so my deployment rate is lower and rarely work extra hours. We are both military and have two kids.
    cat1622

    Answer by cat1622 at 11:50 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

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