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What advice would you give to a mom-to-be sitll in highschool?

I recently found out a girl I know who is still in highschool is pregnant and her mom says she stays in her room and crys a lot... and her parents are very church going people so I'm not sure how hard or supportive they are being (they may be being completely supportive for all I know... I didn't pry). So I want to get some advice for her from people who have went through this themselves in hopes of making her feel better and more comfortable with whats going on in her life now. Shes having a boy :)

 
dtetz

Asked by dtetz at 9:06 PM on Dec. 21, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (14)
  • I would remind her that God does not make mistakes, and that God is the one that makes the babies grow. Remind her that even though we as the children of God may not always understand his plan for us, that there is always a plan and that what he brings us to bear, he will also bring us through it as long we have faith in him. Remind her that age used to not matter when it came to having children and that tons of young mothers have done this before her and were just fine. I would tell her that yes it is going to be scary, and yes it will suck while your body is going through the hormone changes that come with being pregnant, but that it is only temporary and that she can always lean on God whenever she needs him. Build her up. Tell her that she can do this, be supportive, talk about all of the great things that are to come once the baby is here.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 9:26 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Tell her to get on birth control after she has the baby.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:16 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • It isn't the end of the world and although the rules of the game have changed doesn't mean she still can't play the game. It is going to be harder but she should still get to the same end point. I have seen many girls who became teen mom's finish college, get a good job, find mr right and have a normal life. My parents make more than most college educated people I know and have more material things and they had me young and struggled for a while but in the end they have all they could want plus now they have 6 grand kids on top of it all. They had very little parental support and did it.

    babyfat5

    Answer by babyfat5 at 9:19 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • well first off congrats to her and second she should try to take one day at a time and stay strong and not stress much... I had many of friends in high school who became pregnant and many people doubted them thinking they were bad people and they weren't going to be able to graduate and drop out and all types of things.. Just tell her that people do talk and they are going to expect the worse and just tell her to prove them wrong and what ever she does make sure she is 100% sure it is the right thing to do.....
    pregnproud88

    Answer by pregnproud88 at 9:22 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • A young girl at our church became pregnant and was very ashamed......I just point blank told her that a lot of people (wether they will tell the truth or not) could very well have been in her shoes...including me......and that once that baby is born everyone forgets the "mistake" and starts to give all their thoughts and energy to the new baby......hang in there.....it WILL get easier.....and life goes on.......just now with a new person to love!!!!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Tell her that it's not the end of the world! I understand that it may have been a mistake but it may be one of the best mistakes she's ever made, a baby is a blessing. She definately needs to push herself through school no matter how hard it may seem, if she quits then she will never be able to give herself or the child what they deserve. If she plans to giving the baby up for adoption it needs to be her choice, not her parents. But she needs to be prepared for the responsibility if she does keep him. And most of all let her know that you will be there for her sometimes thats all someone needs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • be calm. there will be frustrating moments because your young, and your going to want to go out and be with friends, and just be young. but thats going to be VERY limited, so make time for yourself, and your baby. your baby should always come first, and be patient with your baby, and yourself. things will be hard in the begining, and at times your not going to know what to do with yourself, but always remember, that things DO get better over time. every decision you make should be based on whats best for you and your baby, no one else.
    good luck.
    kiliki_malie

    Answer by kiliki_malie at 9:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • vbongard and mom2twobabes have it down pat. Just get her excited about it. Let her know that there are so many mommas that are under age but that they are ok. And show her what she needs to do to make her life better...Wic, Medicaid...Be sure to push that she finishes school!
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 9:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I got pregnant in my senior year and graduated at 5 months pregnant. I'm VERY happy with my 4 year old little girl and my 16 month old now. It's OK!
    Autumn22

    Answer by Autumn22 at 9:47 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I know it is important for her to be excited about becoming a mother and of course it is important for her to know she isn't alone...but even more than that...she needs to feel empowered. She needs to look at what she CAN offer a baby because I'm sure she has been made well aware of her shortcomings. It can all be SO overwhelming, but if she can put together a real plan for things like "how am I going to feed and clothe this baby" "who are my biggest supporters" "where will we live" "where will I work" "how will I finish school" "where will we be 5 years from now"...I mean REALISTIC plans, I think it will be easier to her believe she can do this, she can be a good mother, and then get more excited about everything.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:25 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

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