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Do you think a man watching his child be born could change his selfish ways?

Im 38 weeks, dad and I are not together. He calls about once a week. He called twice today because ive been having contractions. Says he knows he should come by but its Sunday(football). Says to call him if when I go to the hospital they say im in labor and keep me. Im not sure I will call at all. what do you think?

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Kellyandkatie

Asked by Kellyandkatie at 9:50 PM on Dec. 21, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (24)
  • Not sure about dad's that aren't in the picture...my husband sure appreciated the process more when he saw the end result. I don't think he ever wants to see me in that much pain again...I'd hope not anyways, LOL!
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:51 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • He deserves the call. I don't know what your relationship was like, but this is his child and he should be there if he wants to be. I don't ever think a man should be shut off in anyway from his child unless he has shown abusive tendencies toward them. It is however your decision Momma, whatever will make you feel comfortable during this very difficult time. Good luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:52 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • My son's dad and I were not together and I thought that him being at the hospital with me would make him be more connected. He was awesome the first week until he didn't get his way and then totally distant again. Mine was at work when they admitted me and he said "they can't find anyone to cover." I was livid....but he ended up coming. If he's putting football before your baby, I'd say screw him. If he's worried and wants to come then he can make the effort and check up on you.
    a_and_j_momma

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 9:53 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Some maybe, but others probably not. My DH had to have the threat of me leaving and him never seeing his son again to change his ways...now it wasn't about sunday football, it was about going out drinking with other women and not coming home until the wee hours of the night. He saw his child being born and it didn't change him one bit. I had to actually pack my shit and start walking out the door before he realized I was serious.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 9:53 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • i think you should call obviously he cares cuz hes calling you so you should do the same
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 9:54 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Probably not. Let him be there if he wants to be, but don't expect him to change because of it.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:55 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • sorry but probably not. my ex left me a few months into the pregnancy, showed up for the birth, left an hour later and thats about it. my son is 2 years old now and i can probably count on my 2 hands how many times hes actually seen him or asked about him. so dont hold your breath

    i think you could give him the option to be there just so you dont regret shutting him out later on but dont expect a huge turnaround on his part. trust me when you have that little baby your ex will be the last thing on your mind so dont let it get to you
    learae

    Answer by learae at 10:03 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • nope he won't change at all. it may seem that way for the first couple of weeks but then they return rite back to their old ways.trust and believe..don''t get your hopes up high
    amiyamom

    Answer by amiyamom at 10:11 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Nope..change must come from within..I was in the same situation 9years ago..i didn't call my sperm donor, however my aunt did..well, he came and saw me and my daughter, we tried to make it work, and did for 5 months, then one day he stop calling and that was that..you can't make a man be a father. Usually when the "change" their children are grown and at that time don't give a shit about them. Sorry.
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 10:21 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • No
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

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