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My daughter is being spoiled by in-laws HELP!

My daughter is being spoiled baddly by my in-laws. I don't know what to do. It has became so bad that if I say NO she goes to them and gets it. I have tried to be polite about them doing this but they look at me like I'm nuts. This is their only grandchild and Neice. I am worried this is going to get ugly. I really do love them but how to make it stop!

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Asked by darb4 at 8:05 AM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • its not going to stop. that is their grandchild be glad that they love her that much. my parents give my children what they want if they are in the position to do that their other grandparents have nothing at all to do with them and neither does their father.shes young it will slow down as she gets older. i mean seriously if i cant afford to get something that my kids want i am glad there is someone around that loves them that can

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • We have similiar issues but I welcome it. You see my older kids grandparents dont so much as send them bday or christmas cards,they never call,nothing. My youngest child her grandparents spoil her and the other kids and I am SOOOOO THANKFUL to have grandparents in their lives they can go with,talk to and be spoiled by. Its so much better then the alternative of having grandparents who dont give a crap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I'm going to assume that this is a problem because they're giving her things you don't want her to have. I think if we lived closer to my in-laws this would be a problem for me too. I remember when we did live close by and my oldest was a baby that I would get so mad at my MIL because she always gave my daughter things I didn't want her to have (cookies first thing in the morning, for example). If your in-laws won't listen, the only thing I can think that you can do is to take away the things they give her that you told her she couldn't have. Your daughter needs to know that going to your in-laws when you say NO is not acceptable. I realize it sounds harsh to punish your child when you're upset at your in-laws, but I think she does need to realize that she shouldn't do that. And maybe your in-laws will see the trouble they're causing and help reinforce that she can't go to them when you say NO by saying NO themselves.

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 8:25 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • As a grandparent of 5...soon to be 6, I fully understand the GC's wish to spoil their grandchild. That being said, you need to teach your children according to YOUR values. I would enlist DH's help and draw up some guidelines that you would like the IL's to adhere to. The invite them for dinner or coffee and ask them for their help in teaching your children that value system. If you do it without criticism, with love and respect and truly ask for their help, you should be able to reach them. Wishing you luck!!!!

    Answer by companygoddess at 8:26 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • What exactly are they doing? Some kinds of spoiling are actually a good thing. If they are going directly against what you are telling the child, then it is your husband's responsibility to put a stop to it because they are his family. Anything you try to do about the situation will only cause more trouble for yourself.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:32 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • companygoddess - i vote best answer!

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:34 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I also agree with companygoddess. That did help with my MIL. I explained to her that I was having trouble with my daughter respecting me and my rules when she gave her everything or let her do what I have already told her no about. After talking very frank to her about the situation it did improve. I am not saying that we still do not have our problems but I don't think grandparents forget what it was like to be parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Well for me MY HOUSE MY RULES, THEIR HOUSE THEIR RULES... yes my inlaws pamper and spoil both my girls they are the ONLY Grandchildren they only have two. i try to be considerate of the fact that my girls are the only ones, I don't like they get everything in the world but at the same time, I also limit say my Oldest got the Wii game, it gets limited how much she can play on it and what games. Toys sometimes I leave them behind at the inlaws, if I feel we have too many or have taught the girls to give stuff up for new stuff so we dont end up with piles of STUFF or toys. I will also give advice to the grandparents to buy more CLOTHING or room decos, trust me, it saves you a bundle! As for candy and stuff again, My HOUSE my RULES their House their rules.

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 4:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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