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Tell or not to tell???

If you were married and were going through a hard time with your DH and started talking to somone online and a few times on the phone, but called it off before anything really happened would you tell your DH???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 AM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • no why would you,if nothing happened,then he will always think you are doing something.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 8:45 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I'm glad you stopped this early on. Cheating is not something to take lightly and once you start on that road, you can't take it back. This is a tough one....you know your DH better than anyone else. How will he react? You are in a situation to use this information as a way of opening a dialog with him to work on your marriage. Just be careful...it could backfire if you use it as a way to hurt him or to simply attract attention.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 8:46 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • no i wouldn't tell him. i mean what would be the point nothing happend you stopped doing it no harm no foul right?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • NO, you dont tell. Some times a strange "friendship" is what takes to put a marriage back inorder, just as long as you dont disrespect your husband or your marriage or yourself. I have several guy friends, when i need a mans perspective i ask them. they keep my confidence & help me see my husbands side especially when im wrong & wont admit it. A stranger can often tell you the things you need to hear, your friends are afraid to let you hear, & you refuse to hear otherwise. Keep yourself real though, no game playing!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I agree, what would be gained by telling. If nothing happened then there is nothing to confess. If you are disturbed about it, then use it as a warning against doing it again in the future.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:05 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Give your spouse the same respect that you would want. If he did the same thing would you want him to tell you? If the answer is yes then I think you have your answer. If the answer is no, then you need to at least talk with him about your problems and how you are feeling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • no don't tell. Just let it go and move on. Talk to your DH about whatever yall are lacking in and get it straighten out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I will be honest and say I don't know what I would do in this situation. Even with things wrong in your marriage, you did mess up but stopped short of actually doing anything physically. I think my consience would get to me, but, I am not sure. I guess it depends how strong your marriage is now as opposed to then.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 10:11 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Are you kidding? Please with the holidays just around the corner, that is the last thing you need to tell your hubby. Nothing happened. Big deal so you talked on-line to another guy and on the phone. Its ok you probably need a man's point of view about your life. It happens. Don't put yourself down. It's not all that bad. Really. DOn't say anything. Believe me, husbands can't get really jealous over stuff like that. Then if they do it, its ok. Move on and just not one word about it to him.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • i was on the spouse side of this only they met for lunches and one night he stayed out until 1:00am talking to this lady for she had a bad day. DH told me he was at work...I did not believe it and the cell phone records showed he was in her area where she and her husband have a cabin and their home. It has been 2 years and I do not trust him anymore. He went to therapy with me and said that he wanted to stay with me, that nothing happened (i am not stupid). After all the therapy, he said that he could not afford to divorce me and all that kind of stuff, but he still loves me and wants to work on us. Every time I find an email or a phone call whose number I do not see, I start thinking he is seeing her again. I give up. Do I stay or go? I wish I had a way to make her suffer like I am.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

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