Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How do i get my 5 year old boy to listen to me and act right?

when we go to the store he gets mad because i wont buy him this or that he runs away right out my front door of my home he runs in a walmart parking lot i dont know what to do any more?!!!!!!! he has a very bad potty mouth he uses words like mother f'er a**whole b**** he is completely out of control and im @ my last wits end with him ive done everything to him spanking threating him with police ive taken him straight to them ive taken toys he just comes back with "take my toys i dont care throw them away!!!" i dont let him out to play i need help!!! ive considering to put him in a boys home to help me straighten him out but i dont know how to!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Aug. 6, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (16)
  • Ok, take a deep breath first off. Wow.

    This child is five years old, barely out of baby phase. Does he have any medical issues that we here should know about before we give you some tips?

    While we're waiting for that information, let us know where he is hearing this language. Is it in the home? Daycare?
    Brawnwyn

    Answer by Brawnwyn at 4:54 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • i have a 5 year old too and i started trying to deal with that when he was around 1 and 2 now he listens very well.....even though its stuff u may not want to do or sounds like its harsh it will help....but start taking some of his favorite things from him when he dont listen at home and let him know when he strats acting better he can earn it back....the store, take him in the bathroom and show him you mean what you say when you are in public....dirtry mouths...wow my and her moms favorite was a taste of a bar of soap or a very small taste of hot sauce a pinch on the tongue worked for my boy being hes half hispanic he actually likes hot sauce!! so i would pinch the tip of his tongue but they def do not like having their fav stuff taken to earn it bak
    jelly23

    Answer by jelly23 at 4:55 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • Second, you say "I've done everything to him" but you do not say "I've done everything I can for him" These are SIGNIFICANT behavioral problems for a child so young. Has he been assessed by a physician or child psychologist? Is there abuse in the home, toward you or him? Does he have siblings? How long has this behavior been present?
    Brawnwyn

    Answer by Brawnwyn at 4:56 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • He sounds like a very angry little boy to me. Do you know why he would be so angry? There are many possibilities. If he has never had good boundaries drawn and enforced for him, that could make him angry. If he's lost someone who was very important to his life, that could make him angry. The anger is actually his cover for pain that he otherwise doesn't know how to deal with. He quite possibly feels that he is unloved and that has made him insecure. He covers all that with being angry all the time. I would probably start by sitting him down and telling him that I love him too much to any longer tolerate the bad behavior. At this point in time, I would probably throw out every type of punishment except for spanking. I would tell him that from now on, I will tell him once what I want him to do or stop doing. Either he obeys instantly, or he will be spanked. Use something other than your hands, like a flexible ruler.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:01 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • First,where the heck did he learn those words from? Second,where is his father? Third,anything u do u need to stay constant with it. He runs out of the house and into a store parking lot? U need to put a lock on the door he can't reach! Did u try using a little pepper on the tip of his tongue?
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 5:13 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • I don't know Nanny. He sounds like he's already been over spanked so that isn't going to have any affect I think. What do you think? Also, he's five and has been threatened with the police and being sent away.

    I think the only solution (assuming he has no medical issues) is to get both mom and son into counseling and parenting classes. I don't say this lightly; I'm not a pushover by any means and I'm old to boot but I just have a very very concerned feeling for this child
    Brawnwyn

    Answer by Brawnwyn at 5:14 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • well the bad words hes hearing from somebody. You? Dad? He cant just come up with them. 2nd ask his ped for a referral for a behavior therapy.
    surfgrl60

    Answer by surfgrl60 at 5:18 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • Mama. Spanking a child who is already having behavior issues is a big no-no. Soap and hot sauce in the mouth is a no-no, too. That will get you reported.

    He is enacting some anger he is seeing somewhere. Find out where he is seeing that and hearing those words, and put that adult into counseling.

    You threatening him with police and/or boys home is like the worst possible threat a mom could give a young child. It will agitate him more.

    Get the offending adults into therapy, and do a few sessions conjointly you and your son to get some advice.

    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:22 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • Ok. all of the "alternative" parenting methods havent worked. Whip his behind. Everybody votes down the "spanking" but thats just what it sound like he needs. I agree with the moms that say make sure he doesnt have a behavior problem and see where his actions are stemming from. Kids lose their mind because society has shunned "spare the rod spoil the child" stop sparing the rod and get to whippin his ass. NOT BEAT, whip. let him know what he's done wrong and whip his ass. YOU ARE THE PARENT, TAKE YOUR AUTHORITY BACK
    Zarviemom19

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 5:28 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

  • She's been hitting already, zarvie. That is not working. Spanking is not a very effective parenting tool. Doing more of it will just escalate his anger.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:29 PM on Aug. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.