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I need help understanding

I need help understanding myself. My husband left me for another woman a year and half ago. I actually have talked to her and i do like her. Why is it i like her and can't stand him? He is a very quiet and non communcative person. He just clams up. She apologized to me, but he has never. He doesn't believe he should or has done anything wrong. My daughter has even told him he needs to do this, so i can let go of my anger for him. Why do i need an apolgy from a man i can't stand?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • i dont know but it sounds like the other woman is a bigger person then your husband
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:58 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Having a person apologize and admit that they were wrong may not change the situation but it can help get past the hurt. Having the woman apologize and you accepting her shows that you are a very forgiving person. Your husband is the one who broke a commitment and vows that he made to you and having the woman apologize and not your ex-husband probably makes you more resentful toward him. It is perfectly understandable. The only advice that I can give you is try and get past it with the apology and try and understand that it is not that your husband feels that he did nothing wrong it is just that he is not man enough to admit to his mistakes.
    maddiemygirl

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 9:12 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • OHHH i am right there with you! Im not so mad about the other woman as much as i am mad about the strieght faced lies he told to me, treated me like crap & made me believe it was my fault. So I walk around feeling like im the one whos not worthy! now he wont sign the divorce papers! i cant move on physically, financially, or emotionally. He doesnt make any attempt or want to fix our marrage, we dont even speak! So what his point? Im agonizing over the confussion & its distructive to me the longer it go on. I dont know what to tell you, except an apology for me would mean that hes taking some responsibility in the disolve of our marriage & not leave it all on my shoulders to bare the blame. I want his acknowledgement because he has an excuse to blame me for everything & still walk around like its nothing., no remorse what so ever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • It's because in a way, he was the one you were married to and the one you should have been able to trust. She's stepped up and has shown you remorse, which is probably what you needed from her. He sounds like a coward as most men are afraid to "talk things out". I know it's hard to let it go without proper closure, but do it for yourself... you deserve to live your life without harbouring old feelings... good or bad.
    ohRATTS

    Answer by ohRATTS at 10:14 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • you probably need an apology for closure and the sense that you didnt do anything wrong for him to do that. if you like her thats ok. you dont have to like him, hes an idiot for leaving you.
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Becasue you are bitter... he left and you even if you like his girl friend look at him as the jerk.. which he is. you need to decide that what he did... was not your fault... and you need to decide not to worry about whether or not he says sorry... I mean really what will you actually get from it. Look at him with pity that he isnt adult enough to say he is sorry.. but you should let go find a new life and find yourself. Do some soul searching and just know that even if he never admits it ... that he deep down knows and he has to live with that. You dont you have a choice as to let it bother you or not.
    photojournalist

    Answer by photojournalist at 1:30 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

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