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how do you trust your spouse after an affair?

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Asked by tarij at 10:12 AM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • That's a fairly loaded and open question, with little or no detail.

    Rarely do affairs happen "out of the blue". I would spend some time concentrating on myself and my children before I even thought of reconciling - of course, he would always be their father and that would be tricky enough.

    I think that given enough time and attention and energy from both parties, anything can be overcome. The question is - are both parties interested in reconciling? And why did it happen in the first place?

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:18 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Take one day at the time. There is no guaranteed that you will trust him again but try counseling.

    Answer by aznblond9 at 10:23 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • You probably will never trust him. If he was really sorry and wants to make the relationship work , he will not hide anything from you ever again. He will be like an open book .


    Answer by louise2 at 10:29 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • You don't. I feel that once that trust is gone- it's gone for good. There will ALWAYS be that lingering doubt in the back of your mind...

    Answer by IhartU at 10:30 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • no. i never would. the way i see it is once a cheater always a cheater. its not easy to trust someone who hurt you like that.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:39 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • my mom had an affair on my dad about 7 or 8 years ago. It was honestly the best thing that happened to their relationship. they went through alot of marriage counseling and are better than ever. So you can over come it but they did it through counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I don't buy the "once a cheater always a cheater" thing. It depends on the reason one cheats to begin with. Some people are serial cheaters - they cheat because they just can't not cheat. But there are people who've just made mistakes or it was something that happened because of circumstances and they don't do it again.

    I cheated once. My husband and I were going through an incredibly tough time, he was really being so horrible to me and I was absolutely convinced I was going to leave him when I had the money to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Cont'd
    I told him and everyone who would listen to me I was leaving him. i started a relationship with another man and spent one night with him. Since then, my husband I have decided to work on our marriage and it has gotten stronger and better. I cut off all communication with the other guy and have no inclination to cheat again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • If the woman stays with him after an affair, you never do trust them.You pretend like you do.But when you have kids, sometimes men get second and third chances.

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:51 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • He will hide nothing not one thing not one email account or financial account or paycheck from you. He wouldn't travel with a female associate without other females from the company in travel. He would laugh always with you and when furious tell you in same sentence he loves you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

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