Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my husband said

My husband said he left me for another woman because we never did anything together anymore, that i yelled a lot, that we slept in separate beds(my daughter slept with me), i know a bad habit to get her into. also that i was not confident. I said he left me because of my looks. he said not true. Should i believe him, and would a man leave his for wife for those reasons stated above?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • If a man truly love his wife he would not leave for those reasons. He would have talked with his wife and they could have worked on those issues. It's his way of getting out of the marriage.


    Answer by Southerncharmes at 2:55 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I appreciate wanting an answer, but here is not the right place to get it. Find a counselor. I mean that in the nicest possible way.

    Answer by Fiveofakind2 at 2:56 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • i think yes. in my opinion sleeping in seperate beds would tear me and my husband apart and if he yelled all the time i wouldn't be able to handle that.. and if he was always putting himself down that would get annoying real quick. I agree that you should seek counseling.. BOTH of you and mayble you could fix your marriage good luck hon

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:59 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • nagging is a big reason for men to leave. i mean your taring him down and telling him how he never does anything right. would you stay with some one that did that to you. we women would say that is verbal abuse but when it's the other way it's you have the right to complain. which is not true. you shouldn't of been the one responsible to make sure you guys when out and did stuff but if you guys never did and then you do loose a connection with each other and even more so when you sleep apart. you seemed to of pushed him away rather then he left you. sorry. i know it was harsh but yes i do think that is valid reason he left you. this other women probably has learned a lesson like i hope you have. next time don't do these things.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:38 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • men dont usually leave a women simply over looks, (i have been reading up on men and asking the ones who would . as a matter of fact, i have read that many times the other woman is less attractive admitantly by the man who does the switching. so i would say those are some of reasons why he's with another woman, but there are underlying issues, such as healthy communication, intamacy, and you mentioned he said that he had issues with your confidence? not sure if you meant you had low self esteem or if you werent a confidential person, either way there would be an underlying issue that would need to be addressed.

    Answer by Msunique80 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • He apparently doesnt love you enough to work with you on the issues the 2 of you had (because I am sure you had issues with him too), and rather just start over with someone else. Only to find she will have her issues as well...Bottom line here is that seems to me he has moved on so all you can do is take what tidbit of information he gave you and work on yourself, for yourself. that may include counseling, only you can answer that. And the next time you get a shot at love dont make the same mistakes. Realize that you will never be perfect (we are on a journey to perfection), but hopefully the next guy will realize that too and love you enough to work through whatever issues you may still have and vice versa. A real mate is there for the good, the bad and the ugly! Hope this helps.

    Answer by Msunique80 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I think those reasons contribute to loneliness, a lack of intimacy, and unhappiness. I don't think he should have left without trying to find resolutions...but if he did try to fix the problems and nothing changed, it's the same as us telling a woman who says her husband won't change to leave him. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


    Answer by micrespo at 4:10 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • He sounds like he didn't want to make it work. All those reasons can ALL be fixed.

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 4:20 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Why do you need to know he exact reason he left you? My dad always told me that one man's trash is another man's treasure. Someone's out there looking for their treasure. You should want to spend your life being yourself, not trying to be the person he wants you to be. I know it's easier said than done :-)

    Answer by Shulizboo at 4:31 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Oh, and I am not calling you trash at all so please don't take it that way.

    Answer by Shulizboo at 4:34 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.