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what 2 do?

hello out ther and happy holidays
My SO wants to leave his job it is streeing out so bad that he get sick almost daily fron the stree now i have always made most of the money in our relationship so that not a thing for me . I told him to leave but he said that he doesnt want me to do all the workimg im our home that BS bcause i already do i make 32000 a year to his 13000 so we would miss the money but we will get by so how can i get him to live stree free and look for a better job or should i say career like i have HELP ME

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I highly suggest he gets a new job before leaving his old job.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:02 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • to gramsmom we can make it with out the stressful job
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I had a job that treated me like crap. We had a hard time but we found a way to make it work. I am getting ready to go back to school and maybe he could do the same. If you can get by without the money then it's not worth the strain on your relationship for him to stay. Good luck:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • He should leave the job that he hates and definitely look for a better one. If you can get by on the one income while he looks, he should go ahead and leave now. I don't know what the market is like in your area so I'd give that some thought before he turns in his resignation. It could be a while before he gets something else. But life is too short to be stressed out to the point you are sick, and for only 13000 a year! To hell with that job. That's no way to live.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 4:20 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I agree with gramsmom. You should never leave a job until you have another one. But saying that you already make more money and that his reasoning is BS and he needs to find "career like  you have", that's pretty low don't you think? Does it really matter? It  shouldn't especially since you then stated that even though you'll miss the money, you'll get by on your salary. And. I'M IN NO WAY SAYING THAT YOU'RE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT HIS HEALTH, but it seems like you're making the 'who makes more money" the bigger issue.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:21 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Also, even though he is leaving that job, he should definitely get a new one! Don't be the sole breadwinner. That typically doesn't make a happy house when the man is not working and the woman is. You will have a whole new set of issues.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 4:23 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I understand that you can make it, but what you don't want is some man laying around your house with no job. Trust me. How long can you make it? Do you want a house husband? Are you even married? What if this unemployment goes from a month, to 6 months, to 2 years? Is that what you want? Does he even help around the house? I assume you have kids together or you wouldn't be on the site, does he take charge with them? Who watches them while you both work now?

    Rule #1, do not leave your old job unless you have a new job. Period. The ONLY exception would be if he was going to school full time to change or improve his career.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:26 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • gramsmom is right...never leave one job until you have another. It's much harder to get a job when you are unemployed...especially if he leaves the job willingly. Better to start looking now.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:35 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I DITTO gramsmom. My hubby did essentially quit his stressful job, were he made less money to start a biz. we now are dependant on his parents for help with our bills. and he is STILL stressed. Just about other things now. This has been going on with us for a little over a year now and it used to cause problems, but i have come to terms that well at least he is working at the business and we are being provided for in some way. I understand and appreciate your wanting to help relieve his stress, but he needs to be a man. LIFE is stressful, you have to find ways to cope with it not run away from it.
    Msunique80

    Answer by Msunique80 at 4:41 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • continued- He needs to find a job first and then quit the stressful job. if he wants to go to school, thats fine too, but he needs to still be working. because thats what adults do...WORK. i dont care if its as a janitor on the night shift, a gas station attendant, working the line at mcdonalds, whatever... he needs to work and be contributing to the family as the provider he was intended to be. and when he is working, then you can say...its not about the money, because at least he's working.
    Msunique80

    Answer by Msunique80 at 4:41 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

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