Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it a good idea to be friends with his exwife?

Some people don't mind some do.
I understand he still has to support his kids but I can't see me being friends with her knowing we are paying alot of money to her. I don't get it. I guess it is the way she goes about it. Like...I need my money...or when I getting my money....Am I getting a check this month. Damn woman hold on you will get your money it is on it's way.
Can you please see my point of view. (And I knew he had kids before I met him...lol) Other than that she is cool

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Dec. 22, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Hell no! Stay away from her. Just be cordial for the shake of the kids. Yea I understand you completely about paying a lot of money to the baby mom or ex wife. It sucks but I also knew he has a child when he was 18.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • No, I don't think its a good idea to get involved that way. I think its important to be polite and maintain a "business" like relationship. Always take the high road....but friends? NO WAY. You need boundaries or it could get really bad down the road.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:07 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • Well I am an ex wife and I do understand her point of view as well. I need my ex to pay child support to supplement what I pay out raising the kids full time. Without his help I wouldnt be able to get them the extra things they need because Id be too busy trying to pay for a bigger house & higher electric/water etc that I wouldnt have otherwise. Not to mention extra curricular activities, clothes etc.
    If you have resentment towards her then I would probably not be friends with her. I have never wanted to be friends with my ex's many flavors of the months. The only one I was sort of friends with was his fiance, and were still friends even after they broke up since they broke up over similiar issues we did. Ultimately its up to you AND her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:08 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • "other than that she is cool"... so i guess there isnt really a problem. I know many women who get a long with the ex wives... but nobody says she has to be your best friend. but for the kids i would at least try to get along. its probably hard sometimes. but if you go against her for what reason ever then her kids (your stepkids) will prolly go against you.

    just stay calm and when she asks for the money then tell her its on its way. ;)
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 4:09 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I know when I was a kid, my mom didn't get along with my dads 2nd wife and it sucked for us. Cause we would here crap about her when we were at our moms, and crap about our mom when we were at my dads. I think it would be best for the kids to just try to get along with her, it'll probably end up being more peacefull for you and your hubby too. But my dad worked for the government so my mom got child support right out of his check, he never even saw the money. I can only imagine what that would have been like! LOL! Best of luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I personally tried it, and it failed. All she did was badmouth my husband and obviously it started a fight everytime. Keep you distance.
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 4:11 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I would be cordial to her. I would keep her at a arms distance. That is my opinion. I am the kind of gal...that loves talking to the exs...because history always repeated itself and I known what to look for. Thats just me.
    Sassywidow72

    Answer by Sassywidow72 at 4:11 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • I guess I will be different here. My x and I were better friends than we were married to each other. His wife was and is an awesome person. My x never minded paying support, I never had to ask or anything. Yes, I was friends with her, not great friends but friends. Believe it or not, when he was dying, she called me and wanted me to say goodbye. She also let me stay in her home with my daughters(16 and 20 at the time) when it was almost over. If you can be friends, thats a good thing for the children, but, if you can't, theres nothing you can do.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:12 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • No, there is absolutely no reason to be friends. Just keep things on a "business" level. If everyone is civil to each other, then that is a lot to be grateful for.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 4:16 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

  • to me, it doesnt sound like a good idea. TO ME the most use I would have out of her is a reference point as to why THEY broke up because there are 2 sides to every story. Nothing wrong with being coordial with her and talking to her if she will talk to you. But other than that it doesnt sound like a good idea to get close and actually become "friends". that is a conflict of interest. maybe you should ask yourself, "why do I want to be friends with her?" IF (and only if, this is just a stab in the dark here) you're thinking by you 2 becoming friends maybe she wont be so demanding of her money that is DUE her, then no that isnt a good idea because then you would be trying to manipulate her and would you want to be manipulated into doing or not doing something?
    Msunique80

    Answer by Msunique80 at 4:25 PM on Dec. 22, 2008

Next question in Relationships
what 2 do?

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
Has any one tried KY Jelly?

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN