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My husband has been continuously lying to me about taking drugs. I caught him doing steroids a few timesHe's gotten addicted to oxycontin. I really think he will never be able to be open with me. Could you be in a marriage like that? I've even told him I would leave him if he got back onto the oxy, and he did yesterday don't think I can go through this for much longer, but I don't want to destroy our family; we have two sons. What would you do?

We've been married three years, and have two sons. I am not an angry person; I'm calm, understanding, and easy to talk to. I don't know why he can't be honest with me. Every time I've found out about the drugs (over 6 times) I've had to catch him, he never tells me. He was taking up to $200 worth of oxycontin each week.

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Asked by cpenn at 1:39 PM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • I dont think you have any other choice but to leave him. You cannot raise 2 sons with him having those habits. The money alone is a huge deal. He is hurting your family by doing those things. And from what I have learned about ppl who do drugs it is that they wont change untill they are ready. He is probablyu hiding it from you because he feels guilty about it. That is a step in the right direction, You should leave him and tell him you might be willing to take him back if he completes a rehab program or something. Hope I helped a little. Good Luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • First off the money he is spending on those drugs is taking away from your family,second the mixture is not same at all one day he could snap and hurt you and/or the boys. Second my first husband smoked pot ALL the time and spent all of our money on it, I finally told him it was either me or the drugs and he said I will smoke til Im 80 years old so I left him and met the most wonderful man who is now my husband and the father of my son and I am very happy. Sometimes you just have to leave,but mabey he can get counseling.Good luck!

    Answer by JonahsMom1107 at 1:45 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • He is the one destroying your family. You cannot repair t alone in any situation. Drugs are a deal breaker for me. If he won't get professional help then it would be over. I know how steroids effects the human mind--not good they get aggressive, nasty and mean. Be very careful. I'd leave for now and see if that kicks him toward help, but don't count on it. You have to keep your family strong, as in you and your boys.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 1:45 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I had to leave my husband for the same issues. I tried for two years to get him help. You are better than this.

    Answer by Brianne036 at 1:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I'de get a LARGE insurance policy on him before his steroid and drug use becomes public. At least that way when he dies from the complications of the combination of drugs and steriods, you and the kids will still be able to survive. Those are 2 nearly impossible things to get off of. Best of luck to you.

    Answer by vbruno at 2:06 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • If anyone's destroying the family, it definitely isn't you. My brother just went through this with oxy and wasn't the same person. He stoppped talking to everyone. His reply was always that no one would understand. He had to move out and deal with his problem and he actually did because he was embarassed that he was addicted. It took his son being born and that life-changing experience to pull his head out of the gutter. He definitely needs to find a hobby to keep him busy. However, a time apart may be good for self-relization that he's losing his family. From experience, a break would be better than staying because in the long run, your kids will learn from it and "become products of their environment."

    Answer by kissthis at 2:11 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I agree with Brianne and VBruno.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 12:48 AM on Jul. 15, 2008

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