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My sister is pregnant and thinking about giving the baby up for adoption.

She wants to put the adoptive dads name on the birth certificate instead of the birth father's. Is this legal? Also, could she put both adoptive parents' names on the bc instead of hers and the bio-dad?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (11)
  • Yes it is legal when going through an agency.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:59 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • State regulations vary. She can call the county dept. of health and they'll refer her to whomever she needs to speak with about the process.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • First of all, what a wonderful, giving, and selfless person your sister is! Please give her lots of hugs and tell her that she is a wonderful mother who is giving an amazing gift to her child and to another mother whose appreciation will never be describable with words. Once she connects with an agency, they'll take care of everything. If she already has someone in mind and doesn't need an agency, the adoptive parent's lawyers will know what to do.
    Gotoyourmoms

    Answer by Gotoyourmoms at 2:15 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • The father has to sign the child over also....You can't just do it alone because he could come back later and get a DNA test even if she gives it to someone else. He could take the child from the adoptive parents because he was not aware. Everything must be done through the courts via adoption. You can't just put whomever you want on the papers....the courts like to be involved enven though it gets pricy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • In most U.S. jurisdictions, at the time the adoption is finalized, the child's name is legally changed, and the court orders the issuance of a new, amended birth certificate for the adopted child. This amended birth certificate:
    replaces the name(s) of the biological parent(s) with the names of the adoptive parent(s), and
    replaces the child's birth name with his/her new name.
    The original birth certificate is SEALED and they are generally not available to parties to the adoption. If the child is not adopted, and in foster care, the original birth cert remains the true document of a record of birth.

    Why does your sister want to put false info on the record of birth? Natural parent privacy rights do not extend as far as keeping their names secret from adoptees.



    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 5:00 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • Please be extremely careful both biological parents need to sign off on an adoption. If you hide the fact of the birth father he can come back request dna and fight for his rights to that baby. This would indeed hurt a lot of people especially that baby.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:04 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I think that your sister should postpone any decision about adoption until after her baby is in her arms. Emotions can change dramatically at birth and it is these emotions that are the ones to pay attention to. Not the scared emotions that come from pregnancy hormones, but the ones when your baby is in your arms looking into your eyes.

    Even if she is adamant that she wants to give away her baby, this child may place a huge value on her mother-child relationship with your sister, to the point of even eventually changing back her name to recognize their family connection. My own son did -- he dropped his adoptive name entirely and went back to his original name. Even though it was a closed adoption for 20 years, that did not weaken our mother-child bond. Many adoptees want to recognize and restore their ties to their natural, original, families, so she may want to consider this possibility. Parents are not interchangeable -- the mother-child bond is not so easily
    Momzilla4

    Answer by Momzilla4 at 2:00 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • No, bmom has to put her name on the birth certificate. In order to protect everyone involved from possible dispute later on, I would insist the bdad's name is on it too. That way he has to sign over his rights and can't come back later to get his child saying that he never got to have his say. Cases like that have come up, sometimes more than a year after the adoption was finalized and the bdad has won. So I would be safer than sorry.
    romeece

    Answer by romeece at 11:18 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • here is an adoptee speaking in her blog at
    http://sisterheping.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/the-gift-of-a-name/

    "The Gift of a Name"

    "I am comforted that someone noticed I was going to be a person - after even adoption occurred. I am comforted that I was worth enough to be given a name that they thought I would be unlikely ever to use, because a legalized adoption has the power to fully omit an adopted person’s original full name.

    Knowing my parents named me… says to me: “You may have been adopted, and we may have known that we couldn’t raise you at the time, but we will never forget you were here first. We will never forget that we had you for those first few months of your life. ... We will never forget that we were once your parents too.”"
    Momzilla4

    Answer by Momzilla4 at 12:34 AM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Hello, I came across your ad and I know this is going to sound strange, but my husband and I desperately want to have a child, and we have now started looking into private adoptions with birth moms. Do you think your sister would consider a private adoption situation? My husband and I are extrememly loving, kind, honest, genuine, trustworthy, well established, and FUN people who desperately want to start a family, but can't without the assistance of invitro or adoption. I would be happy to tell you more about us and would love to hear more about your sister if this is something you think she may consider. I'm sure this is a very difficult time for her with trying to make this decision, so I will pray that she finds the strength and clarity to do what's best for her and the baby. Blessings, Nicole S.
    luvnmomnwaiting

    Answer by luvnmomnwaiting at 11:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2008

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