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Bf Mom go to far or is it me?

My boyfriend is him moms only child because of internal problems and now that him and I had a baby she thinks its her's she wont fallow anything i say or the baby scedual that i've done since she was born (she watches her while im at work) when we go somewhere she gets the baby the entire time one time she ran to the car when we pulled in and took the baby out before i could even get out she is obsesive one day she said to me "A little bit of me is in rob (my baby dad n bf) and a little bit of him is in her so its like a little bit or me is to and I always wanted a little girl" every word or that still replays in my head because it made me that mad shes said other things before to and he gats mad when I try to talk to him about it he says I take it the wrong way shes breaking us up so is it me or her and if its her how do I tell her to back off with out being rude?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • My MIL acts that way & worse. She underminds me 2 no end & it's not b/c she's simply a loving g'ma. She trys to make it a point to everyone that I am not part of their family. She takes the baby from me, doesn't listen to me, etc. It's caused major problems in my relationship. I've tried talking it out with my SO. I finally went off on him & made it clear that if he doesn't tell her 2 respect me it would ruin us & nxt time I would tell her off. I made it clear - My daughter is MY CHILD & I will not let someone else take over. There's a thin line bet. a loving grandma & being evil. The talk has made things a bit better, but the problems still exist.

    IMO speak with ur bf & stand ur ground. Tell him that u'd like for him to speak up for u when it's necessary. She should respect u. Pick ur battles with his mother, decide what u will not tolerate, vs. what u don't like, but can deal with. Good Luck (4 both of us)!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I don't think what she said is out of line, it is true after all!

    As for the other stuff, you need to get Daddy in your corner. Don't whine about it, just tell him that's it's YOUR baby, and you will decide with HIS help what is best for your child.

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 1:43 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • It sounds like she really loves her grandchild. You sound a little bit jealous. You should take a step back and think of how wonderful it is that you have a full-time babysitter while you work that is family! And she takes the baby whenever you and your BF go out. You don't realize how very lucky you are. A lot of people don't have that luxury.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:44 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • be rude. I know for some people its hard to deal with but if you sugar coat your true feelings its just going to be swept under the rug and continued to go on. the full truth is always the best way to go , there may be some rough feelings afterwards for awhile but at least you can say you took charge

    Answer by Kayge at 1:44 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I agree with hopelessnance.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 1:52 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I had that very same problem except I have a son. She even decorated his room in my house (& nothing like I'd been wanting :-( ). She even took clothes we had bought or received as gifts to her house without asking, although she had her own. She even threw several brand-new outfits away! You first have to talk to your BF, even if he gets mad. Just don't whine or yell, speak to him in a calm manner. Then talk to her (with or with out his support). Don't be too confrontational, it doesn't help to get nasty. Believe me, my BF mom is crazy, & we do not get along, just tolerate eachother. I came to her in an adult manner & stated how I felt. We have now settled our little boundary problem, but our rellationship has improved as well. Ofcourse, she IS still Grandma, & she will do the things Grandma does best, like give them too much sugar & let them do things against the rules at our house..

    Answer by kammiek at 1:55 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I don't have "one" person I could leave my baby with; so I wouldn't. If you don't like this "possessiveness" then you need to take control by being w/your baby all the time, its that simple. Otherwise, you should know that all mothers are that way w/babies. I've had several but in to my biz and they were strangers. We all are different as mommies. Sure I'd like to take over care of my niece becuz her mom doesn't raise her like the precious girl she is, but truth is if Mommy is loving, then thats who baby will always want first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I don't think your jealous I think you just need to talk to your boyfriend about him setting some boundaries with his mom because she is HIS mom, but she is also the baby's grandma so you kind of have to find a happy medium. I feel for you and know what you're going through trust me lol but you both have to give a little and she needs to stop being so possesive, I bet she makes you feel like an outsider and it's almost like her and her son and baby makes three doesn't she?

    Answer by JustinsWife4507 at 2:03 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You need to start looking for a paid daycare - she is not your employee, she is the baby's grandmother. Sounds like the two roles are being confused.

    And she's a little wacky - so what? The comment about a little bit of her being in the baby IS true - odd, but true.

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:41 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • if she doesnt listen to how you want the baby taken care of in your presence, say something..if its while she's baby sitting then i would pick and choose what i would argue about.

    Answer by tnteaton at 3:49 AM on Dec. 23, 2008