Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

so does any one have soem sort of an agreement for the holidays with your childs father if your not with them no more?. mine wants to take our daughter butim selfish and i dont want him too.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I hate to be so blunt but I am disappointed here with my son's dad it boils down to....."You don't ask for him to visit, I won't ask you to take him. My son is mine, ALL mine. Ex-husband sends child support and extra for holidays. I don't know..........A court can demand child support but a court can not make a father see his son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • We do the every other year thing. Last year he got them when school got out until after christmas. This year they get to be home christmas morning then go to him later that day until school resumes. It would be different but we live 100 miles away now so the driving thing isn't fun to do weekly. I don't like it but its working for now.
    aeemom

    Answer by aeemom at 3:54 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Its important that BOTH parents have quality time with a child, especially at the holidays. By withholding a child from one of the parents, it can be damaging to the child and it IS SELFISH!!!!
    MommaLucy

    Answer by MommaLucy at 4:27 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I had this mater settled in court but since it is so close to Christmas. Have your daughter for Christmas eve and the morning till dinner time time after Dinner he picks her up till New Years.

    Being shelfish will only hurt your daughter and ruin your relationship as she gets older.
    myzero

    Answer by myzero at 6:04 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Why don't one of you take the child Christmas Eve and the other Christmas day. Its fair, and both win, and not selfish at all. WIth a situation like this, its not just your child, its his also. Do you take child support? If you do, then you need to find a way in the best interest of the child, not your best interest.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • What does your custody agreement stipulate? If you don't have one, I strongly suggest you get one for the future, b/c then there can be no emotional bru-ha-ha regarding who gets whom when & for how long - the decision will be made. For this year, if you don't have a custody agreement, I would suggest splitting the holidays - the non-custodial parent takes the child Christmas Eve and the custodial parent has the child Christmas Day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • my ex enjoys holidays much more than I do (or ever have), and so not to cause any problems whatsoever, my ex gets the choice of having the kids or not, it's up to him. And so far, he's always had them for Thx and Xmas Eve/Xmas Day.
    doesn't bother me one bit.
    moniquesand

    Answer by moniquesand at 9:38 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • My parents live in the same town. When they divorced they settled holidays like this-- Christmas Eve was Dad's time with us, Christmas Day was Moms time with us. My sis and I are grown now and we still keep this tradition going. My husband's mom has her Christmas on the weekend before Christmas. I don't know if that would be an option that would work for your and any custody agreement or not.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:08 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • We used to alternate spending the night on Christmas Eve each year so that my ds woke up at alternate houses then stayed until mid afternoon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Well this will be the first year my family spends Christmas as a separated family and my x and I decided to share the time, even though we can't stand each other, theres no reason the kids should miss out on both parents time. So Christmas Eve I take them over to his house and do the family thing (with his family) and Christmas day he comes over in the morning before they get up and do the Santa morning thing. He brings the gifts he got them over and all the good stuff. I would say he would then come to my families house for round 3 of Christmas but we all agree that thats not a good idea (my parents strongly dislike him) But this way everyone stays happy. the kids are happy because they have both parents for a change and the parents are happy that they dont have to miss out on any part of the kids Christmas! its a win win!
    candace71306

    Answer by candace71306 at 1:36 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.