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Is it wierd

for me to be upset that my husband won't give our son or daughter a kiss good night or even that he won't just give them a kiss?

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Asked by Everettsmom163 at 7:11 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • He NEVER kisses them?


    Was he raised by wolves or what? How can you not kiss/cuddle.your own kid?

    That would bug me - but I would be direct and nicely ask him about it. What is his relationship with his mother like???

    Answer by Wimsey at 7:15 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • his mom and him didn't really get along until now he hugs them but our sons so cute he goes up to him and trys to give his daddy a kiss and the asshole just pushes him away. WE got in a fight about last night but I really want to push the subject cuz that was rude

    Answer by Everettsmom163 at 7:20 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • i dont blame u at all for being upset. i think that u and ur husband should sit down and have a serious convorsation about why he has a problem with kissing them good night.

    Answer by mommacj13108 at 8:00 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • he pushed him away pushed him away? ohhh no that would just jack me off right there. how old are you kids? not that it matters but now i have this image in my head of you little one goin up to kiss daddy and him pushing him away thats not cool. my hubby is not a very afffectionate person but when it comes to his daughter he is always hugging her and kissing her and telling her how beautiful she is. i just can't imagine

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:08 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Have you asked him why he doesn't want to kiss them? Is it something to do with the way he was raised? I know my dh's mom and dad have probably never kissed him in their lives... my dh does kiss and cuddle our kids but it did not come naturally to him at first. Does it make him uncomfortable in some way and is there any way to remedy that? I know some people are uncomfortable kissing the kids on the mouth, but maybe he could kiss their cheek or even their hand. Good luck working this out! I'm sure the kids would appreciate a goodnight kiss from daddy!

    Answer by Freela at 8:26 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Freela has good advice. DH can work on this..but whatever he does or doesn't do please impress on him the effect of pushing his affectionate child away. His actions have more impact than he can ever know.

    Answer by companygoddess at 10:07 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I know you are thinking of your children first and foremost in this situation, but be careful how you approach your husband as he has feelings too. I think based on the above responses we all agree this is weird and unnatural, but that there is something going on with your husband that is not being understood. Don't fight about it... talk about it. I'm sure he doesn't want the kids to think he doesn't love them, and he defintely should not be pushing them away - that's very hurtful to children. He needs to be the bigger person and put his children's needs above his own issues until he can work through them IMO.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:16 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • That IS very odd--especially if they are his biological children! He really should seek some professional insight therapy to address the issue(s) associated with his emotional detachment he has with his children. That said, is he also adverse to snuggling up with them and reading then a story? There are MANY other ways to show affection than just kissing/hugging!

    Did this adverse behavior recently begin? Is he under a lot of financial stress and sees the kids as contributing to it? How did he interact with the kids when they were born? Has he been directly involved in their care--diapers, giving them a bottle, playing with them, etc.? How does he show affection with you? Because if my husband EVER intentionally REJECTED our children from their wanting a hug or kiss from him, he'd NEVER get a hug or kiss from ME again--but he WOULD be shown the door! Seriously.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:47 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • THERAPY!!! Sorry your dude has issues and if you don't want your kids to grow up the same way I'd suggest it immediately!

    Answer by ormom1977 at 2:51 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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