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my boyfreinds mom is smothering me she always wants to take my baby for the night its starting to worry me?

befor my son was born she told me she was going to take him to flordia and by the time i relized she wasnt coming back she would be gone then now t when he was born she begged and begged to take him over night she started when he was 2weeks old and it started to scare me now he is one and ive let him go there and spend the night a couple of times when i have to work overnights but now she is here everyday you got to work today and when i tell her yes even though his fathers here to watch him she will want to take him and ill say no i want him to stay here she is driving me bug eyed i dont trust her at all and i want to raise my kid not someone else but if the world was'nt so crappy i would be home with him but we cant afford it so what can i do to stop her from begging to take him.

 
brandi_07

Asked by brandi_07 at 9:56 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • Your BF needs to say something to her! Like a weekend policy, she can see and have LO on the weekends only unless otherwise directed. This might not sound the nicest, but YOU are this child's mother and she needs to chill out! My mom was like this originally, you really need to put down some boundaries before LO realizes that grandma is willing to pull the moon down for him!
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 10:57 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • She seems very attached and caring. It seems that she loves the baby very much. Insisting that it is best for father and son bonding that the father watch the baby is a good idea. And the father should do the watching and caring. If she wants to hang around your place when the father is there watching the baby, then that should be OK. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:06 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You need to tell your BF how you feel and that even though "she is trying to help out" you would rather the baby spend more time at home, he needs to step up and handle that issue its his mom.
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 10:07 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You and your SO need to sit down with her. Sounds like your going to have to just tell her how you feel about this. Put your foot down. If you don't want her to take him all the time just tell her.


    Buy her a dog if she want to take care of something.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:11 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • This is a really hard one. I went through something similar with my mother in law. I came from a family that just wasn't as close as my husbands. I was unfamiliar with the "grandmothering" that my mother in law gave. Turns out, she really wanted to be a good grandma and help me with the babies. (Also, she loves babies. ) So, are you reading too much into it? Is she just overjoyed to be a grandma? All this said, you must trust your instincts. Talk to your bf mom. Tell her you feel uncomfortable leaving your child overnight. She may just be trying to help you and you are picking up different feelings then what she is trying to put out.
    Just my opinion.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 10:19 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I agree w/everyone else. It sounds like she just wants to be a good Grandma. But...what kind of issues does she have w/her son? Doesn't she realize that he's a "big boy" now? He's a grown up and he doesn't need his Mommy around 24/7 anymore. She might be having a hard time w/that and using the baby as an excuse. Does she have to take care of him also when you're not around? You have to tell HIM to say, "Look Mom, I'm a grown up now. You can come visit when we call you. Let us have some breathing room." Explain to her that she was such a good Mommy she taught him well and he can take care of himself.....true or not. He has to learn. There are a LOT of grown men out there that can't do that and still need Mommy and SO.
    fromthebrook

    Answer by fromthebrook at 10:30 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

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