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What should I do?

Me 24 and the father 25 of my son have been together for 4 years going on 5. It's been rocky pretty much the whole time. My son is 19 months old now. We bought a house in april 08 and I am now attending school part time 21 hours a week and working 40 hours a week. My boyfriend found out I was talking to an old friend of mine online whom I dated before. I didn't cheat on him or anything, but he really thinks I did and will not believe anything I say. I know we have been doing poorly for a long long time, but I'm having a hard time making the decision on if it should be over or not. I feel like we are both staying just because of our son and our house but I also feel like thats no reason to stay. I'm just not sure what to do.. I cant afford it here alone and neither can he. I'd say to sell but you know how long it takes to sell a house these days. I feel like I need to speak to a counselor or something.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Until you make a clear decision, try not to do anything that is harmful to the relationship. How would you feel if you found him talking to an old flame? What do you think the reason things have been rocky is? What would need to be different in order for you to be happy in the relationship? It sounds like you have alot going on and are overwhelmed with things that need to be taken care of: baby, boyfriend, house, school. How much time do you spend doing things that you enjoy? I would suggest following your instinct to see a counselor - a counselor can help you sort out some of this stuff.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:46 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I understand your situation, my husband used to get really upset before we got married when I would talk to my ex boyfriend. It's hard to understand their point of view, when you're having innocent conversation with the ex and just catching up. But with your relationship rocky as it is, it's easy to pour your heart out to someone else that used to care about you when you don't believe your partner is.
    If you love your boyfriend and think it's going to go long term (wedding bells, etc) then end the contact with this old flame and try to build his trust up.
    Don't stay in the relationship with your baby daddy because of the house and your son. You need to be in the relationship for yourself.

    Answer by lilmommy0416 at 11:00 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • This is something I just don't understand, why connect with an x without your present partner being with you? How would you feel if present connected with his x and then you found out? Comeon, you'd wonder wtf. Everyone stop stepping out and wondering why one of ya's got insecurity. If your x approached you how did he get your screenname? If you approached him think of what made you do that? Curiosity always kills the one not cheating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • he was never my boyfriend.. just dated... and he had the same screenname there was no exchange..

    Answer by brookenicole84 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

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