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I'm 17 and expecting. not sure how to tell my parents. I am adopted, only because my mother (thankfully) refused to abort me. How do i deal??

I know that they will want me to abort, but i refuse. I turn 18 in Feb. so I can move out then, but I don't want to burn bridges

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • If they suggest you abort explain to them how you feel - No one can MAKE you abort. It's your decision and they will probably be upset for a little while but if they love you they will come around and support you.
    CourtneyAnn8690

    Answer by CourtneyAnn8690 at 10:55 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Oh honey I am so sorry you are dealing with this. How do you know that your parents will want you to abort your baby??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Honestly it is what it is, you just have to sit them down and tell them your are expecting and then deal with how they react. You never know how someone is going to react in the moment. Even if they have expressed in the past that they would make you have an abortion, they may not respond that way when they are actually faced with the situation. No one can make you have an abortion. You need to be honest with your parents and deal with what happens when it happens. Don't try and anticipate what they will say or do. I truly hope that your parents will be loving and supportive of you. ((( hugs ))) and good luck.
    norbert

    Answer by norbert at 11:04 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Welcome to the adoption club!!!!!!!! They cant make you abort the baby. It is your decision. I know what you mean about burning bridges. My parents threatening to kick me out if i ever get pregnant during my teen years and thankfully I didnt. I just had my first baby at 23!!! Good luck to you
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 11:05 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • It is such a hard time, especially when you are a teenager, but every baby is a blessing, and it is good that you are not wanting abortion. Do you have an adult that would be safe for you to talk with who could go with you to tell your folks and stand with you against aborting your little one? Sometimes this helps as parents are shocked when they first hear that an unexpected little one is coming. If you don't have help, look online at www.HarborHouse.org. Ask for a woman named Karla, and she will help you get the answers you need for the days ahead. Our family will be praying for you. We have 4 adopted kids, 3 of whose moms had to fight to give them life and we rejoice that they did!
    TeaAnderson

    Answer by TeaAnderson at 11:05 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Tell your parents, I was pregnant at 19 and my parents confronted me when I started showing, I denied it for the first 6mon of my pregnancy. They're going to be upset, disappointed, and it will take some time for them to get over it.

    When you tell them, have some things ready, if you don't have a job yet, find one. Show them that you are serious about keeping this baby, apply for WIC and Medicare, it will help with paying for your prenatal care and other things after the baby is born. Pre-natal care is important, so please don't skip it just because your a teen mom. Think of all their possible questions and be prepared to answer them, don't lie to them. Stay calm in your decison and your manner, don't lose your cool, if they yell/ cry/ whatever.
    lilmommy0416

    Answer by lilmommy0416 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Please don't burn bridges. Sounds like you know that. You are going to need them more than you know. I think it might be shocking at first, but they will get used to the idea. Get a plan together for how you are going to finish school and find a career. Let them know that you need their help, but you are more than willing to do the work. Adoption is not a bad thing and I wish more teens would take advantage of it, but I understand that its hard to do. We, as human beings, can only see whats in front of us..not 10 yrs down the road. No one can make you abort your child. That is soley your decision, no matter your age. Come to them with a humble heart and be honest. I think that they will receive you better than you believe. Good luck to you.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:26 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Just a question before I answer: do you want to keep your child or give it up for adoption? That answer will change how you deal with your family.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 11:39 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Your parents may surprise you, the sex talk my mother gave me was "just don't do it" so when I had a pregnancy scare at 16 I thought for sure she was going to kill me! But she was so supportive that I thought that she had been taken over by an alien mom, thankfully I wasn't pregnant, but a home test was positive and I had to go through a urine test, 2 blood tests and an internal at the dr, so I thought I had a miscarriage and was really upset and she was still supportive. Since you are adopted you have that on your side if they want you to have an abortion remind them that if your birthmother had chosen it they wouldn't have you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I had a hard time breaking the news to my parents at age 21, so it's not just an age thing. I received much more support and love than I thought. I would have been happy not to be disowned (I was not married and my family is weird). If you want them to support your adult decision, you will need to address it like an adult. This decision is not about them it is about you and your child. First think about what it is you want to accomplish before you talk with them, and that will guide you as to how to do it. Congrats!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:50 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

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