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Have you ever like you weren't there SO?

Yesterday I felt like calling it quits, I have had enough... Well my SO is out of town and I have been having these troubles with him being inconsiderate, selfish and not caring. He is 500 miles away and doesn't take the time to contact me until it's late at night but can chat with his friends on myspace which he has never done with me. I got so irritated and finally when I talked to him, I was mad and told him that I don't feel loved and I feel like I am just a friend that he randomly talks too. He got all mad and told me that I am a negative person. I try not to be but he never makes me feel like I am included in his life until it's convenient.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • perhaps he's having an affair? I'm sorry to say this but all the signs are there. They show WAY more interest when in love..men are easy to figure out, get the book..he's just not that into you! I know it sound's immature but it's great advice. I think life's too short to fuck around pardon my french, with someone that doesn't love you the way you love them!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • My friend has a motto "Never make him a priority when you are just an option". Although it's easier said than done, if you aren't happy and you don't expect things to change, it may be better to cut ties. There's a possiblility he's just really immature and not ready to be committed, and if that is the case, you probably won't be able to change that. I'm sorry to hear about it though - it's never a fun situation to be in.
    P.S. - that book mentioned above is AWESOME and very insightful.
    L_Bass

    Answer by L_Bass at 11:21 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • It doesn't seem that he's that interested in making a life with you. Perhaps, sadly, it is time that you moved on. :(
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:22 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I don't know...I'm not sure you should jump ship just yet. Men are very single focused. And sometimes a bit clueless! He might not realize that you felt neglected in any way. He might think that you being the last person he speaks to at night is a sweet thing. They do not think like we do. AT ALL. I would suggest keeping busy, go out with some girlfriends and get a couple of hobbies. It's funny how the minute you are not worrying about him all day, they seem to come around and all of a sudden want some more of YOUR attention. You can turn this around. Don't nag him, that will only start a fight. Be happy to hear from him. But also be busy doing other things that make you happy.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:41 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Find someone who is interested in your feelings. My husband gets on my nerves sometimes with selfish behavior, but when I point it out to him, even if I get to mad to do it in a non-bitchy way, he still takes the time to talk to me about it and try to do things differently. Relationships only work when you have shared goals and trust. That doesn't mean they are perfect, but if he is not willing to find a way for you both to feel good about the relationship, don't waste any more time trying to fix it.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:52 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think that you should be just as unavailable, then perhaps he will realize yours is not a relationship of convenience.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 12:34 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Hmm he sounds inconsiderate and he is putting you and your needs last. I agree with micrespo-- maybe you should be 'unavailable' when he calls (let the answering machine take that call), or cut his call short with an "oh, I am in the middle of something -gotta go". Maybe if he sees you have things going on in your life and you are not waiting on him he will put more effort into the reatlionship. Good luck!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:28 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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