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Why will my almost 3 year old listen to his "daddy" but not me?

My son is almost 3. His bio father has not really been in his life at all, and seems to be compltely out of the picture now. But my fiance and I have been together since my son was 1 and he calls him daddy. But these days, especially when it comes to him sitting quietly in timeout, my son will not listen to me, only his daddy. When he tells him to do something he does it, when I tell him to he does nothing or the opposite. What can I do to get him to listen to me? Why does he only listen to him? I've been here longer.. you'd think it would be the other way around!

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Asked by BeckNAiden06 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • Maybe your BF is more consistent with the boy?

    Answer by Wimsey at 11:22 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • its a boy thing and respect issue. For whatever reason boys go through this stage my son wouldnt listen to me for nothing lol but he always listened to his dad which was his step father. I felt just ike you i had been there longer i was the real mom but he would listen better to him then me. He slowly outgrew it and listened to both of us. My newphew who is 3 is the same way wont listen to his mom of course she babies him so thats probably why but he will do what his dad says when he says it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think when Children want some one's approval they do just about anything to please them! Listening to your fiance will keep him in his good graces and also, a boy looks up to a man..your mommy, he knows you love him and your always going to be around right? So he doesn't have to work as hard to keep or win your approval. Also there's something more firm about a male voice, and intimidating too!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • i woudl have to say that my DD tends to listen to daddy more because i am the one who gets her bathed, dressed, fed, brings her to and picks her up from daycare, and her daddy is the one who she sees and hears less often so she wants his attention and so will do anything to have it - once it starts to get overwhealming i make daddy start doing those things and then miraculously my DD says "mommy i miss you" and then she begins to behave for me!!

    Answer by vakatia at 1:49 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • It's the voice! Guys naturally sound more aggressive and serious. However, you need to work on making him listen to you. The best suggestion I have is when he won't listen send him to a time out and don't for any circumstances give in. If he gets up, sit him back down and add minutes to it. Try not to call you fiance` in to help as this reflects "mommy can't displine me" My mom use to put us in the corner that way we couldn't see any distractions. If we still acted up in the time out she would also make a list of everything we did wrong that day and when daddy came home she would tell him. Then he would give us a firm talk and make us apologize to our mom, not just I'm sorry, we had to really apologize. It worked. It hurt our pride and made of feel bad!

    Answer by sidzwif at 2:58 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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