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Spanking someone elses child!

My DH family think the best way for punishment is a spanking. ( He doesn't spank tho) I don't think that is true. My child if you tell her once not to do something nad she does it anyways then I put her in time out and she is much better when she comes out. Well they say if she comes to spend the night with them if she doesn't listen they will pop her! I said NO!! No one is going to hit my child you may put her in time out if she doesn't listen but you will not hit her! They then said if they care for her they will ounish her how they feel is right. What do I do!? BC if i find out they hit my little girl it won't be very pretty.! I don't want to keep her away from her grandparents she loves them but I will not allow someone to pop her.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (21)
  • Dont let her go over there unattended. Pretty simple. And if they ask why tell them you dont want them abusing your child.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:05 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I wouldn't let her stay over there alone then. If they won't abide by your wishes, then they don't get to babysit. They'll change their ways.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:05 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Thats what I've been doing but my DH says they won't really do it they will just threaten her but I know they will they "pop" my nephew when he doesn't listen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Obvious answer here! NO GRANDPARENT'S if they hit her..ask them if they'd rather see her or not! That will fix them pretty quick. I've alrd made it clear to my parent's that I WILL not spank! I'll do time out, take thing's away, but no hitting! You under no circumstances should leave her alone with them, if they will not agree to NOT hit! If it creates a riff in the family SO BE IT! At least your child won't be abused, because in my eye's it's abusive to hit..we don't hit to get a point across, so why should our kid's learn to hit??

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Only you can proctedt your child. My Mom won't stop smoking in the house with my kids so they don't go over there, she comes to my house if she wants to see them I don't know what it is about Grandparents thinking they can do what they want, they say it's our house, or thats what we did with you, well I don't care it doesn't make it right. Take control!
    CarrienKansas

    Answer by CarrienKansas at 12:14 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • We do spank, but only if it is like the third or fourth time we are having the problem in a short time span and only for things that are established house rules. However, me and DH are the only two people allowed to spank. DH gets mad when SS BM spanks because she doesn't spank, she smacks and that isn't ok to him. So we actually have it in our court order that she is not allowed to spank him because the courts find her form of punishment abusive and not disciplinary. We once saw MIL spank him and we didn't even say anything. We just left. In the middle of a family dinner. We got up and left. T^hey understood and have not done it since. They are also just now getting to spend time with him alone and that was nearly 3 years ago.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • i dont think spanking a child is abuse as long as its not being done with anything but there hand on her little behind but your the parent and if you dont want them spanking your child then you need to sit down calmly and talk to them explain why you have chosen to not spank your child and what works best for you guys. keeping her away wont solve the problem it will just make it worse. Let them know you need them to use the same techinices as you use at home. If they cant understand that then dont let her spend the night with them alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • If you are not spanking your child neither should someone else. I spanked (he's now bigger than me) for very serious situations only and even though my sister spanks and tells me to spank her kids, they know that the only time I will spank them is when it is serious, for instance the 11 year old remembers the 1 time I spanked him because it was only one time and he was running for the road after being reminded not to. My ex MIL was of the attitude that "they are my grandkids and I will treat them as I want" she wasn't left alone with my son EVER in my power until we split up and my ex would leave him there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • you can take her to visit but then stay and visit with her and have her leave with you. I had to do this with my husbands family because we disagreed on how to treat my children and what to feed them. they soon started asking if the kids could come and play but were usually told no because I was busy. they asked if the kids were busy and when i said no we got into the conversation of why the kids could not visit without me or my husband with them. They finally gave in and upheld our rules and such when they had the kids. It was just a battle of wills of who knew best, which did not matter to me. the way i saw it they were my kids and so everyone had to do as we wished. good luck
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 12:22 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I've been having the same problem with my mom. She is the only person I trust to watch my son overnight but she believes in "popping" him one too when he misbehaves, and I remember she did that with us too. I just had a long discussion with her and explained that spanking and physical punishment is not how I want to raise my son, and that if she can't respect that then she can't watch him. I told her the techniques I use, and told her if those don't work and he is still being bad then she can just bring him home! She listened.
    BeckNAiden06

    Answer by BeckNAiden06 at 12:41 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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