Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do most parents try to turn their children into what they wanted to be?? when they are between 13-18??

It seems that my mom is trying to do that to me like she is trying to make be either be her or be everything she wasnt. it creates stress on me all the more....I am 17 by the way.An example of my life is like that song Numb by Linkin Park.

Answer Question
 
phoebematthew

Asked by phoebematthew at 2:46 PM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I want my children to grow up to be whom ever they want to be. Of course my are youner than you 7,4,3,7mo (twins) but I don't feel like I should try to force them to be anyone but them selves. Maybe you should try to talk to her & let her know how this makes you feel. Try to do it nicely. ( I know getting an attitude gets you no where trust me I was the most smart mouth child ever. She if she understands how you feel. Good Luck!
    StacieBerry

    Answer by StacieBerry at 3:08 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • What exactly is your mom trying to force you to be? She may be worried about you. You are a young mom and she wants you to be able to take care of your baby boy (I peeked at your profile) and yourself. There is probably a lot more to this than you realize. I'd be happy to chat with you, send me a private message.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 9:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I want to allow my children to grow into their own person. But to honest, my oldest is 13, I find myself trying really hard to change her so she will be more liked in school than I was. She likes who she is... and I think that that is wonderful, I take a deep breath and hope that I am doing the right thing.... I hope that I am being a good mom. Unfortunately motherhood doesn't come w/ a manual, as you know.
    Mae5

    Answer by Mae5 at 12:13 AM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I want my kids to have a better life than I did. Write to your mom in a notebook (spiral) so she can write back!
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 12:32 AM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • ok well what i mean is that just because she had a kid while she was at collage she was like i want you to go to collage and get a degree what i got a degree in and i when i was your age i weighed this much so you should to and i had a job at your age and i supported my family and you dont and its always when i was your age i dressed like this and i did this and i looked like this and so should you i mean its endless. and talking to her is impossible because she expects me to listen to her when she wont listen to anything i have to say.
    phoebematthew

    Answer by phoebematthew at 3:13 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I am trying to "make" my daughter have a better life than I created for myself. I didn't go to college, I now scrub floors and clean windows in a apt complex for $9.10 an hr. I had sex and married my bf at 17. I married and divorced 2 more times. It has NOT been a very happy life. It has been a hard life. I want so much more for her and will do everything I can to see she gets it. I can see with hindsight life can be fun to live with a few wise choices as a "young" person! Maybe this is your mother?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • It happens, usually they do it without realizing that they are. Sometimes a teen has to say I am sorry that isn't who I am. On the other hand when you are a teen it is easy to mistake a parent pushing you to prepare for life the best you can for trying to force you to be like them (or like they wish they were). Try to see the difference before making a stand.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 7:49 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Oh now I see your second response. As for pushing you to get a degree most parents do that because we know how much farther you can go with one than without. However telling you what to get your degree in, that you should weigh the same as she did & how to dress (unless she is telling you to cover up more) is unreasonable. All you can do is try to let her know how much she is stressing you & hope she eventually listens. Be as calm & rational as you can though, that gets through a lot faster.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 7:53 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.