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Whos so is like this please read and no bashers please....

Ok so my SO is the biggest grinch there is right. So we had a extra $50.00 to spend on two gifts one for my nephew and one for my step brother. I bought a gift card for my brother for 25 and a gift for my nephew for 25. So on the way home he gets a stick up his ass and starts talking crap about not having money and I was like well why did you tell me we had enough and now you want to complain about it. So I get really mad and I told him to take everything back and dont worry about buying anything. Then I lock him out of my room and havent talked to him since. How would you react? I mean jeez he is the biggest tightwad with his money but its funny when I get money he acts like we have alot and all he wants to do is spend spend spend. So I dunno I just needed to vent.

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momof5kidz

Asked by momof5kidz at 2:09 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Just for Fun

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Answers (10)
  • Actually I guess you would consider me the grinch in my relationship lol. I do all the financial stuff and budgeting so I am the one who complains when my dh spends money on something I might not have approved of lol. Thankfully I am also the one who does the Christmas Shopping so no issues to argue about. I probably wouldnt have locked him out of my room though. But thats just me. I find is alot easier to just calm down, take a breath, and then approach the problem when both people are calm.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:11 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Keep his butt out there don't open your door until you are good and ready.
    About the money he should have never told you you guys had money left over that is his fault and problem. Unless he was thinking of living off of it until payday, now that is a different story. (for u and him to live off of it). If not you will have to let it go sooner or later and make up. Don't let money get inbetween of you two. GL After all it is the holidays.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:17 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I am the "Grinch" of the relationship. My fiance likes to be able to buy things for everyone, which is nice. However, we never really have much extra money. I think that when we have that extra little bit we should save it. As for holidays, we buy everyone a gift. His mom asked for him to buy her a $60 bottle of perfume and she can't even smell!! She just said her boyfriend likes it. He bought it and I had him take it back. We do not have that much money to spend. We still bought her something, just not that. I sometimes get upset when he spends money without thinking logically. I think I would be upset in your situation though. Just take a breather and talk it over later.
    TeaAndrews

    Answer by TeaAndrews at 2:21 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think you're being immature in locking him out. And "he's a tightwad with his money"....you just said it....It's his money! Everyone gets to do what they want with their money. When it's your money, you say "all he wants to do is spend spend spend". Well, not without your say so.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:24 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Sounds to me like you two need to talk. Locking him out of your room and giving him the cold shoulder isn't going to solve anything. Once you both have cooled off you two need to talk about the problem. A lot of times when there is a blow up over something small like this there tends to be underlying problems.
    HeatherTurner

    Answer by HeatherTurner at 2:35 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • i admit i spend his money too because we consider it all of our money but he does act the same way.. as if we have money but once something is bought hes like well you know we dont have money. its ridiculous! its funny what we have to put up with but its not always good to count on them. no matter how long u been with em.
    lydiamama

    Answer by lydiamama at 2:35 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Its never HIS money or YOUR money. Its our money. Theres gotta be a better way to handle this instead of arguing about it and locking him out of the bedroom. Thats sounds childish. The better thing to do would be to communicate FIRST about what your planning on doing for gifts and then agree on it. I know I get resentful when money is tight and we feel obligated to buy gifts for family that refuses to swap names. Thats probably what he was feeling. You finally got a little money and you have to spend it on someone else....its common. Go talk to him and don't act like a 3 yr odl.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:15 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Mine does it. When I get paid, "lets go out to eat", but when he gets paid (and he makes more than I do...) if I ask for $10 for gas he'll be broke. I think it's because it's harder to see your own money disappear!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I live with my 20-yo dd now, and she spent ALL KINDS of money on her friends for Christmas, then had the nerve to tell me she didn't have enough money to give her ONLY brother a gift. (grumble!)

    Also, I am on disability now (but still make more monthly than she does), and she works full-time. I stay home and "puppy-nanny" for her dog. We had plans to come to Oregon for Christmas, and she gave her friend over $100 to babysit the dog for four days! I do it all the time FOR FREE!! Her flight got canceled and she can't come, so I told her I expect her to get a refund from her friend and spend it on groceries! We'll see.....
    jburg2541

    Answer by jburg2541 at 6:17 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • But about the SO, and locking him out of the room....

    I learned a long time ago that if I try to resolve a conflict when I'm pissed, that it's better for me to go for a long walk or otherwise leave the situation until I'm calm enough to talk without starting a whole new fight. Just take a nap, a bubble-bath, or smoke a cigarette (whatever you do) until you can talk to him about it. Maybe he'll have calmed down by then and with any luck (and a whole lot of kharma from us other moms out here) he'll apologize first.
    jburg2541

    Answer by jburg2541 at 6:20 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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