Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I show him?

that I REALLY do love him and care? I love my husband..I REALLY do. On accident, I put our checking account into the - 's. I didn't want to tell him, bc I didn't want him to be sad. I tried everything I could to "cover it up". I sold something of mine, but I didn't make the deposit in time. We have VERY little money. Anyway, he told me it was like laying to his face...and he is very upset. He told me he couldn't live with sometimes who lies. I said "I know, I am sorry". He told from the tone of my voice..he could tell that I didn't care. "I DO care!". I told him, then he said he had to go to work. I could tell how hurt he was by this. I really was doing what I thought was right. I know that I should have just come clean, but I didn't want him to think that he doesn't make enough money for the family. He has said that before, and it made him really sad.How do I show him how VERY sorry I REALLY am

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You did make a mistake, and really should have confessed it to him when it happened. (I do understand your side, by not telling and wanting to make it right). Remember you knew about this for a while and he just found out. He is feeling hurt, angry and lied to. You need to let him alone and give him time to think about this, and sort out his feelings. Finances are hard on a marriage. That is why my husband and I keep separate checking and savings accounts. I don't know if this would be a solution for you and your husband or not. I find it works out great as we each have certain bills we pay, and I never have to worry about him spending money and not telling me, or him picking at me for spending money on something I want. I hope things work out for you.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:05 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • There isnt alot you can do because I do see his point too. You didnt lie but you kept it from him and tried to cover up what you did. Itll take time but Im sure if you love each other itll be alright. Trust is one of those funny things, easy to have until its broken.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:20 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Don't beat yourself up too badly. You've apologized and there's not much else you can do, except don't let it happen again! But I think, from what you wrote, that he just feels partly to blame for the lack of money in the account. So he feels down. He sounds like a good guy. You will get through this. But stop apologizing, these things happen! And don't let him beat you up too much either. You know the truth, you are not a liar, you just made a mistake.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 3:37 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Time will fix this. He will get over it. It's not like you cheated on him. You should have told him. But i can understand why you didn't. You didn't want him to feel like he wasn't making enough. It's always hard on couples who have money problems, but you have to know that money is only money by the end of they day an there are always people worse off. Tell him that you wanted to fix it and you didn't want him to worry and stress about it. And you know now that you can come to him if something like this happens agian. He's not your daddy, you shouldnt have to hide things from him, yall are together and yall will mess up together which means yall have to work things out together. Just talk to him and speak from your heart. But dont let him make you feel too bad, your heart was in the right place.
    candace71306

    Answer by candace71306 at 4:14 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You shouldn't have lied. No matter what, if you were trying to cover it up that is lying to his face. He has the right to be put out here. Finances are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you all need to be on the same page about them, whether you have millions or pennies.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 4:57 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • is this the first time your bank account has been in the negative???

    wow.... i can't even count on one hand the number of times i accidentally overdrew the account.

    give him some time and space, he'll come around.
    kimberleee382

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 23, 2008