Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do in this situation?

My husband, our son(6 months), and I are on vaca to see his fam in another state for x-mas. He grew up here so all his friends are here. We were at a friend's house one night doing some tatts. He was drinking, our son was fighting his sleep and my husband was being a total JERK! Our son fell asleep for a lil bit but woke up. I got the keys and had our son in my arms and was gunna start taking everything to the car. with our son in my arms, my husband grabbed ahold of me and would not let go. I had to put our son on the couch just so nothing would happen to him. Two of our friends ended up coming inside and broke it up. A few mins later I had our son outside trying to calm down and he came out telling me to get my ass inside. When I ignored him he grabed ahold of my hair and threatened to drag me in by my hair. I was holding our son the entire time. What would you do?? There is more to the story but I am running out of room.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I'm sorry: he grabs you, pulls your hair, and all while you are holding a BABY in your arms? No, there is no waiting to see if he will get help, asking if it's the first time, blah blah blah. Leave. As a mother, your priority is your child, and clearly your child is in danger. What if you had lost your grip on your son when he was pulling your hair? Your son could have fallen on the ground and been seriously injured. In other situations, where he's cheating, or just a jerk, I suggest marital counseling, b/c people are entitled to a second chance. But, when it comes to physically laying his hands on you, and ESPECIALLY when you are holding your baby, there is no second chance.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:14 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Id leave. Hes abusive and you arent doing yourself any favors by staying with an abusive man. The longer you stay the longer your son will also be around him and learn being that way towards women and most importantly his own mother is alright.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:30 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Leave! You need to protect yourself and your son. You need to leave NOW! Even alcohol is no excuse for this behavior.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 4:32 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I can't make any suggestions without knowing the whole story but it sounds like he gets abusive when he drinks. You need to communicate to him that he is not to drink around you again and if he continues to do so that you're leaving. If it's more than when he's drinking you need to get out of there now. No questions asked.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 4:32 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Get out. Start making a new life for yourself. Go to a shelter if you have to.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:32 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Of course everyone who answers on here is gonna tell you to leave, But you need to evaluate the situation. Set some ground rules. Has he ever done anything like this before? If so, is it only when he is drinking? If those answers are yes, then tell him he has to stop drinking or you will take your son & leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Is this the first time anything like this has happened between you and him? Does he have a drinking problem? He certainly has some anger issues, to put it mildly. What to do? I sure wouldn't take out of state vacations with him anymore. Without knowing the whole story and your history with him, I'm not going to say leave now but I would have some plans in place in case you decide to do that. I would also take back whatever you bought him for Christmas and stop having sex with him immediately.
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 4:39 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Anon 4:38...The reason everyone thinks the OP should leave (me included!), is that at NO TIME should ANY many lay a hand on a woman--ESPECIALLY when that woman is his wife and mother of his 6 MONTH OLD child which she was holding!!!

    My husband wouldn't DREAM of doing anything even remotely close to what this woman experienced--it's just not in him--but apparently it IS in the OP's husband!!! I see that this "man" has at least TWO major issues...drinking and uncontrollable anger/control issues.

    OP..remove yourself and your child from the situation, have your husband address his issues, THEN, and only if successful, you can reevaluate the situation and see if it is the BEST one for you and more importantly your son to be in!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:44 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I'd leave, under no circumstance should he have put his hands you and more so since you were holding your child. There is no excuse, drinking or not. If he did once he will do it again. JMO If you want you can try counseling.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 4:45 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • He has no right to treat you that way - especially when you had the baby in your arms. Your son could have been hurt. Is he like this often, or is this the first time he has been "abusive" to you? If he has done this before I would strongly suggest you and baby leave him. . If this is the 1st time then you might want to talk to him about his behavior and let him know it is not acceptable and better not happen again. Couples counseling might be a good idea, or maybe AA (if he drinks alot and is like this). I hope things work out for you.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:47 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN