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At daycare my 3 year old is the perfect child, but when we get home i don't know what happend. she don't listen, she has tantrums, hits, and most of the time i can't get her to settle down for bedtime till 12:00p.m. or later. Im not looking to put her on any medication. What else can i do?


Asked by kshel at 3:02 PM on Jul. 14, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • And the rest...
    For bedtime make bedtime the same time each night. And follow the same routine for bedtime. To get her used to a bedtime try using a sticker chart. Let her earn a sticker each night she is in bed on time without giving you a problem with it. Have her work toward a goal, such as once she earns 14 stickers she can pick a small toy from the store. I hope all this helps.

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 3:32 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • if she has a tantrum ignore her (as long as she is not hurting herself or anyone else - if she does its nose in corner time)
    she might want more attention at home - i noticed that my dd was being held and coddled alot by some of the teachers (not any more than anyone else - but we didnt carry her as much as they did) the first thing i did was made sure that we cut back on TV time when she got home so we would have to occupy her, i pulled up a chair that has since had a permanent place in reach of the kitchen so she could "help" me cook (usually had colors and paper on counter), also i made sure we were expressing to her that she isnt a good girl for throwing tantrums and so she wasnt going to get what she wants - and that good girls that behaved nicely and asked nicely would get the things she was asking for.
    this helped - i think the major thing was ignoring the tantrums

    Answer by vakatia at 3:11 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • She has to learn that there are consequences to not following the rules at home just like there are at school.

    The biggest thing is to get her into bed MUCH sooner. Try to get her into bed with lights out by 8pm. Leave her in her room even if she screams and throws a fit. She may sleep on the floor by her bedroom door for a night or two but it won't hurt her. If necessary, put a lock or baby gate on her door so she cant' get out of her room. If she starts throwing toys and breaking things in protest, take everything out. She MUST learn boundaries and you MUST enforce them.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • This sounds ike pretty normal 3 year old behavior. I'm glad you aren't jumping on the medication bandwagon! While your daughter is in preschool, the day is very structured as well is the discipline. At home it's not always as easy to do this. It helps to try though. Children thrive where there is structure and predictability. Try to have a set time for most of your activities at home. For expample play time 4-5 dinner time 5-5:45, bath and clean up time 5:45-6:45, etc... Your child will have an easier time obeying once she knows what activity is coming next.

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 3:31 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • Cont..Also make sure you are consistant and up front with rules and discipline (so important at this age). Make sure she knows the rules and the consequences for not following them. Go over the rules with her often. Praise her when you catch her being good too. Kids love praise and will intentionally behave to get it. Say things like " Good job saying thank you, using your manners in important and shows your a big girl". This way you are showing her that you notice good behavior just as much as bad. Make sure you follow through with consequences for bad behavior. Don't just threaten and give second , third, and fourth chances. Nip each behavior problem in the bud by taking care of it right away.

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 3:32 PM on Jul. 14, 2008