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HOW DO YOU WALK AWAY AFTER 10 YEARS AFTER HE HAD AN AFFAIR?

MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS, FIVE KIDS, AND HE HAD AN AFFAIR FOR 2 MONTHS. HE SAYS HE IS SORRY AND HE LOVES ME. I TELL HIM HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO HAVE A FAMILY. ANY THOUGHTS?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I think it's up to you how you do it... do you want to work it out? The once a cheater, always a cheater thing is BS, it's more likely they'll cheat again but it doesn't mean they will for sure. If you don't want to try to work it out, then you just tell him that you don't think you can ever forgive him and that wouldn't be fair for any of you to live with the anger, hurt all the time. Doesn't matter if he did it for 2 months or 2 years, I know it hurts. I think the whole thing would depend too on how you found out. If he felt so bad that he confessed, then there's hope in my eyes.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:16 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I left mine after he cheated. I didnt trust him and he lied and lied and lied. I just threw him out. I figure a clean break is always better then staying. Its like a festering wound if you stay. I would just think about what you are going to say and sit down and say its over. Thats how I did it. He tried to explain etc etc but I had already told myself it didnt matter what he said unless Jesus himself came down from the heavens it was over. I ended up looking him in the eyes and said "It doesnt matter what you say I have made up my mind, now get out or Ill take the kids and leave myself". And have a plan. Talk to your parents or family members and tell them whats up. I found its hard to admit something like this but they will be there for you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:21 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Call a divorce attorney.
    kimberleee382

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 5:24 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • They are never "sorry". They never "regret". Once a cheater, always a cheater.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think if you both want the marriage to work I would get into some marriage counseling. Not once a cheater always a cheater at all. However with that being said there is no guarantee you are going to be able to forgive. There are times when these sorta of crappy things bring to the surface some of the under lying issues we have. It's your call but I would think after 10 years there should be something worth fighting for...like 5 kids. Whatever your decisision I certainly wish you the best of luck...
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 6:00 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Work it out. Come on. He is probably so tired of her sorry butt. It happens when the flesh is weak. Women can be putas. Be patient. !0 years, 5 kids, come on don't drop him now. I am rooting for you.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 6:06 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • If you feel you need to leave him then just do it. The "I love you but I love me more." always works.

    But if you're really struggling with this decision consider trying to make it work.

    Just don't stick around and let him hurt you again.
    madamekatekate

    Answer by madamekatekate at 6:09 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Dont through your marriage away. your vows said for better or worse not for better and leave the worst. Guys are weak and sometimes it happens. Mine strayed after 18 years. Hes 41 and is going thru mid life crisis big time. Hes afraid of getting old, afraid of not being that young guy girls look at. he doesnt want to be known as someones dad. He loves me and our kids but he liked the idea that someone else was paying attention. He has apologized and had tried real hard to be a good husband and father. I have reasurred him that I love him and will help him thru these feelings but he has to let me in. Dont close your eyes on him, watch what he does, where he goes his cell phone etc and let him know your watching him and that your not a door mat. He will come around and get past it and realize what he has. Guys are like kids you have to constantly hold ther hands. good luck
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 10:10 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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