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Why do you tell me to leave??

He pissed me off with being a jerk. He said somethings that hurt my feelings. He DIDN'T hit me or my kids. He was an asshole. Why do you just automatically tell me to leave?
No, we are not married. But that's because neither of us believe we need a piece of paper to commit us to each other. So, leaving is not an option. He's not "just a boyfriend". He and I are committed. What I was looking for was to vent and to get an honest answer as to how should I APPROPRIATELY handle my hurt feelings. GEEEEEEEZE!

 
Babylove76

Asked by Babylove76 at 5:38 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,227 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • He doesn't always treat me bad - just once in a while. He treats me like a queen most of the time.

    Neither one of us want to get married but mostly me. He has asked me three times and I asked him why do we need a piece of paper? I told him that yes, someday we will probably get married. But right now, I don't want to rush with it. We both have had a really really bad marriage prior to us getting together over 2 yrs ago. We are working through both of our pasts so that we can become better people. We both see the same counselor for this. Right now - I just don't see the point?? Am I wrong? Or would getting married help?

    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 5:51 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • No two people react to the same situation the same way. Maybe what you consider tolerable - other people do not. I know there are a lot of women in marriages that would make me miserable, but they are happy (more power to them!) So my advice can only be based on what I know -- what works for ME. What *I* would do. Take it with a grain of salt. Just read through what people have to say and appreciate that you're getting a wide variety of perspectives on the topic.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 5:41 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You might want to take a*shole off copy and repost you question. I got my question deleted because of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Well, here is the situation with that Hon. If a man treats you bad, he will continue to treat you bad because you allow him too. You are not married, WHY? Because WHO chooses not to? Sounds like he has his cake and eats it too. Why should he get married? He can do as he pleases and when you interrupt, he can say, Hey we aren't married. Get over it. Meanwhile he is free to look and do what he pleases. When a woman comes along that he falls in love with, and SHE WILL, he will leave you for her. Good Luck "modern day woman"!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • huh??? what the heck!!! you wrote in and assumably asked a quest? yes? no? well ya got answers sweetie!! there's no guarantee here that your gonna like the answers. a marriage license is no more a guarantee of a 60 year relationship than without that paper. relationships between the sexes as lovers, partners, parent to child, friends, relatives what ever all all about respect. Respect is more than hitting or not, its also about how we act and talk to any kind of partner.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Stay together or get married because you love EACH other and 98% of 24/7 all day every year repeatedly you both treat each other nice. Be best friends before being lovers or partners married or not. The best most perfect thing would be to become best friends who always have each other's back then next lovers or next then married partners. Being marrried affords you more legal rights than being a commonlaw wife. GOOD FOR YOU FOR SEEING A COUNSELLOR.Be bestbuds.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • If he treats you like a queen most the time and you two dont' fight often, they why are you on here seeking advice?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think the question was... why do they tell you to leave?
    Seems to be the common thing most people say. If you don't like the way it is, leave.. don't try to work it out, just leave. I don't feel that way tho. My marriage (whether it's on paper or otherwise) is worth working on.
    I don't like my hubby sometimes, but am not leaving. If he hit me I'd be gone (and he'd be in jail), if he cheated, I'm not sure but I think I might be gone.
    If he hurt your feelings... tell him he hurt you and give him the chance to apologize.
    I didn't read the original post.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:57 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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