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who's right who's wrong

My husband and I have been together for 10 years we both have children from a previous marriage. Now to tell you about the problem-I dread Christmas every year because his mother only buys Christmas for his daughter and my folks buy for his and mine. We treat them as ours -I make sure I spend equal amounts on all the kids and my folks do to, but his mom doesn't get my kids anything and this hurts-so she is upset with me because I don't want to come to her house for Christmas-but I don't think she is fair to my kids and I refuse to let my husbands child open gifts in front of my kids without them having any-we have talked to his mom but she won't budge but since I want go to his mom's then he won't go (his choice) Am I the one who is being irrational?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • No... My boyfriend has another daughter with anothr women...but he doesnt see her cuz she lives in florida... but if his mom treated our child diff from her child and i dnt do that... i would feel some type of way... keep strong baby girl
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You are right. Your MIL is a B*&ch. What a scrooge!!! Their CHILDREN!! However, it is important to me that my kids know that Christmas isn't just about presents and to be grateful for what they have. I'm sorry you're dealing with this...your hubby needs to step up a little. Good Luck
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 7:41 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think that his mom is being completly wrong. All children should be treated equally no matter who they belong to. Your MIL need to understand that you and the children are a package deal. She also needs to understand that if she can't do this the she won't see your family for Christmas. Stand your ground girl.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:43 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think you are in the right here. I have a daughter from a previous marriage and I'm blessed to have wonderful in laws who treat my DD like their own. IF they did not, I absolutely would not go with her to my in laws for her to have to watch everyone get to have Christmas except her. That is NOT right...it's mean, cruel, etc.
    Fourbymom

    Answer by Fourbymom at 7:44 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • How about teaching your kids that Christmas is about being with family and giving? Then maybe they won't be disappointed about what they are not getting.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • You have been together 10 years and she does that?! I am so sorry but that is horrible. I don't blame you for not taking your kids over there and I wouldn't. Your hubby really needs to talk to her. I have been with my hubby for 12 years and he has a daughter from a previous marriage and my mother treats and loves her like she is her own granddaughter. You are not bring irrational at all!

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 7:45 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I have a daughter from my marriage and my now SO's family buys her gifts just the same as they do our boys and they dont treat her any different what so ever!! Your kids should not have to go and watch his kids open gifts if they are not getting any you are absoulutly right for not going!! His mother doesnt sound like a very nice accepting women to me, sorry you have to go through this on the holidays!! Hope it all works out for you Merry Christmas!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 7:45 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I dont think you are being irrational that is a pretty hurtful thing for your childrens step grandma to do. When I was in foster care my foster grandma i guess you would call her always gave gifts of equal value to bio and foster children. Your hubby's mom is being a monster in law and there is no point in bringing high school drama in to Christmas. I would have hubby tell his mom he either gets all the kids gifts or gets no one gifts. perhaps bonding over decorating sugar cookies or decorating a christmas tree is a nice alternative to gift giving
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 7:48 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • 10 years.... she needs to grow up and get a life. Your kids are just as much apart of her life as his are. I wouldn't have put up with it as long as you have.
    angeladh82

    Answer by angeladh82 at 7:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • i think that she is hurting your kids more than she knows - she is probably doing it to get at you but i am sure its mentally hurting your kids waaaaay more.
    i wouldnt go at all! and i am sure the siblings that are getting things are mentally being affected as well... have you thought about telling her that if she wants the others to recieve her gifts that she needs to bring them to your home so they are opened while the ones who arent recieveing gifts from her are opening their other gifts?
    i think she is being arrogant and i also think your husband should set her straight~!!!
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 7:53 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

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