Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is her DH cheating & would you tell her?!?!

Ok...my good friends hubby's job requires him to be gone ALOT. Lately they've been arguing alot & she recently confided in me that he's not that interested in sex anymore. He will "start her up", but then won't follow through with it saying she's doing something wrong. Then, about a month ago, he went on vacation for 2 weeks, but after a week said his boss needed him @ work, so he left for another trip. She is saying he's just too good at his job, that's why he left...but....my Dh and I feel something is up, what do you all think? and, would you tell her your thoughts/worries?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • sounds sketchy tome!
    Sandiii

    Answer by Sandiii at 8:36 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • if she was my best friend or really close friend..I would say something...the signs are all there...maybe she thinks it but afraid to admit it...its a hard thing to accept...she needs to know so she can start to move on and heal...he sounds like a piece of shit anyways...doesnt seem like he cares about her at all...just be there for her if its true...be her good friend...
    surpriseat41

    Answer by surpriseat41 at 8:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • it does sound suspicious but honestly i wouldn't get too involved (in know ya love your friend) but it could cause hardships... if you bring it up than nothings wrong. they probably need to work it out on there own.
    i agree with the poster above- and just be there when she needs to talk. hope they get it all worked out. you sound like a great friend!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • "Answered at 7:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 by: surpriseat41
    if she was my best friend or really close friend..I would say something...the signs are all there...maybe she thinks it but afraid to admit it...its a hard thing to accept...she needs to know so she can start to move on and heal...he sounds like a piece of shit anyways...doesnt seem like he cares about her at all...just be there for her if its true...be her good friend... "


    Well, here's the thing....back when all this first started (the fights & sex stuff) I casually asked in conversation if it was possible he would cheat & she told me that they took vows & he wouldnt' break those & she knows God wouldn't allow that to happen to her......so...I don't know how to approach it with her.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • If you really love this friend-you need to support her. Saying things like"I am sorry he is treating you this way-what can I do?" trust me she has already asked herself-is my husband cheating. By you bringing it up , it could seem like you are forcing her to face something she is obviously not ready to face-and it could be you who feels the wrath , not her husband. Be there for her, be her friend-don't worry about being right or being able to save her from this jerk-she has to do that. Nothing is more humiliating than a cheating spouse-EXCEPT knowing that everyone knew about it, including you. Only bring it up if she says it first.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:31 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I hate to say this but it sounds like he is cheating. Let your friend find out for herself, It won't be long before she knows the truth. you even said she said he is to good with his job if she can't see that what makes you think she is going to believe you. I know you mean well but this is her problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • It does sound fishy, but you should NOT be the one to put the accusation in her head. Let her come up with it on her own. Don't put yourself in the middle. What if you are wrong? Then you will just be viewed as a shit starter and it could harm your friendship.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 10:04 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I agree....don't mettle...just be there when she needs support because she might resent you or her husband might lash out at you because he'll feel as if you "talk too much" or you need to "mind your own business"....I've seen it a thousand times....my cousin's husband is such a man-whore....he's even slept with family members...and each time someone goes and tells her what they know, he lashes out at 'em, telling them to "mind your own f-ing business!!!" So just play it cool and be there for her when she needs you...Good Luck!!!
    moore_me03

    Answer by moore_me03 at 10:05 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.