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I think my fiance wants us to live with his parents forever. I dont mind because they are very nice people but is that weird?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Dec. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Surely he's got some ambition and doesn't want to litterally stay there forever. Maybe he's just a little scared to get out there and try which is understandable in today's economy. But together you need to set some goals because starting a married life together shouldn't include living with the in-laws on a permanent basis.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 11:38 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • its not about ambition, he is a doctor. do you think its going to affect us some how

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • Wouldn't you want to set up your own house? Something to call your own and have your own space? You may want to walk around the house in your bra and can't at his parents house....well I wouldn't Don't you want to paint any room any color you want? Plant flowers in YOUR yard? There so many reasons to have your own place. I could go on and on but I think it can't be good for your alone time and your growing together as a married couple to be in someone elses house with their rules in their house. I think I may have sounded kind of harsh or rude in my answer and if I did it wasn't intentional...smiles : )

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 11:44 PM on Dec. 23, 2008

  • I think its a nice thing for you to be close to his parents, but eventually your going to want a place of your own. When having kids etc, it's nice to have your own space. However when and if you decide to move into your own place keep in mind that relationship. Try to find a place close to their home, so that the seperation for everyone doesn't seem so great.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:00 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Short answer: yes, it's strange. Get to counseling BEFORE you are married to find out why this is an issue. He either doesn't want to leave his mom (really? Ugh...) or he's definitely not communicating with you what he does want... And even if his parents are way nice, how nice will they be if you stay forever, or if you actually take their son and leave? This needs to be taken care of BEFORE the wedding, sweetie...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I would have to have a heart to heart talk with him and find out what his long term goals are. Does he want to stay so he can take care of his parents? Since he is a doctor, I doubt he is there for his financial gain, does he help out his parents financially? If you are fine with it then it is not an issue.

    Answer by Magpie75 at 2:30 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I don't think it's weird. I've always said I want a house big enough for my grandchildren to grow up in. If my kids never wanted to leave I'd be thrilled.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 5:41 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Yes. Are you looking for a husband or a brother? You will never have a life together if he doesn't leave his home. He has work to do before he is ready to be a husband, much less a father. Decide now to get out on your own and ask him to do the same. If he won't or can't, rethink your commitment to him because you will be taking care of him and living under the roof of his parents. It will be all about them, not you or your marriage. Do you want to bring kids into this? It's a big decision.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:16 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I think if the two of you are planning on saving money together to buy a place of your own, then living with the parentals isn't a bad thing. But there is no way you should be living there forever. Are they terribly old and fragile, do they need someone to be there constantly with them? I could understand that situation.
    You'd be living in their house, under their rules, foreeevvvvvveeeeerrrrrr!!! Could you seriously do that?

    Answer by lilmommy0416 at 12:19 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

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