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2 Bumps

What questions to ask

I want to make an appointment with an attorny, but I'm not sure of what all the questions I should ask.
The situation is: my ex has not seen, called, text or writtien - not paid child support in over two years. We currently have joint custody. I would like to ask for sole custody and ask that visitation rights be suspended.
My fear is that he'll show up and ruin my kids lives. They're both in sports through the school this year. I know, he will not care about this and if he choose to show up, he'd demand that they miss every other weekend of games or other events through their school. I feel that would not be fair to them or in their best interest.
Sole custody because legaly, I should consult with him in dealing with the kids. I'm unable to do this without knowing where he is.

I'm aslo concerned with what happens if something were to happen to me. I do not want my ex to get my life insurance to use on himself and it will not go toward our kids. Him having joint custody, he'd be in charge of their money.

What are my chances of getting these request? Do you think, I'm missing anything else to ask for?
Do I have valid concern? Valid issues to bring forth?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Aug. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I'm sure he would gladly sign over his rights and be free - then come back and want to be daddy to our kids.
    That makes me sick!

    First off if he signs over his rights he cant not go near those kids and they become YOUR kids. He would only be allowed to see them if you allowed it. He can even take you to court but once it is showed he signed over his rights the case will be thrown out.

    Where is the justice in that?

    I know mommy and I am sorry you have to deal with this but this country doesnt protect the children when they should. Men like that need to have their dick cut off.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • Would you really consider letting him off free?

    Yes I would. Children don't need a father in their life that comes and goes as he pleases. One that can disrupt their life. You fear he will ruin their lives. My children are way more important them money. I would find alternative ways to get the money. Its been 2 years and he hasn't paid, what makes you think he will start paying once they are teens?

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:06 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • Get him for abandonment.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:38 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • if you cannot get sole custody

    some other options:
    Court Order saying school and activities take precedent over visitation
    All monies be held in trust until the children reach 18- some judges are even willing to go so far as to have a court order to release those funds after the child reaches 18 (prevents parental manipulation)

    Answer by feralxat at 4:50 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • and what would that do? abandonment?

    It will terminate his parental rights. He will never be allowed to go near or see the children unless you allow it. But you also cant seek child support. Which I guess wont make a difference since he wont pay it anyways.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:54 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • You could get sole custody and just explain to the courts that he is abusive. With how he is acting, sounds to me he has abuse issues that he needs to address. I understand how you feel, but you can always get a restraining order on him. If you think he is a threat to either you or your children that is, you should get one. You should be proud of yourself; working two jobs and maintaining a household. That is a lot to deal with and having to put up with a jerk like this. I'm sorry you have to go through such bs, it will all be better in the end. Just be positive as much as you can, keep yourself occupied as well as the children. It is a good outlet for them to be in sports or other physical activities. Someone who takes them away from what they enjoy, shouldn't be in their lives...period. He's a negative Nancy, who needs to be put in his place!

    Answer by onelove1982 at 5:34 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • i agree with mommy of two. get him for abandonment! :) GL!

    Answer by Supermommy1129 at 4:42 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • and what would that do? abandonment?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:46 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • I want the money that is owed. Why should I let him slide without paying what his children are owed? They'll continue to have expenses. With the teen years aproaching. I don't understand why I should let him get off free of charge, I've penny pintched and done everything on my own. We were marreid, he was there for their birth, his name is on the birth certificates - he agreed to have these children.
    Would you really consider letting him off free?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:59 PM on Aug. 14, 2011

  • it means you can't seek future payments
    past owed monies are still required- it's considered a debt

    at least in some states, that would be one for the atty.

    Answer by feralxat at 5:04 PM on Aug. 14, 2011