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How do I accept bad choices in my child's life?

I love my child very dearly. Recently she has made some choices that I personally do not agree with but she is an adult so what do I do? She has a new person in her life that I have great difficulty accepting. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Jul. 14, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (8)
  • You can love your child, but hate their choices. If she is a grown adult, there is not much you can do except talk to her about your concerns. You know, let her know that your worried about some of her choices, and why. She can listen without the pressure to do what you say, and make her own decisions on the matter. We've probably all made choices our parents disagreed with on a couple occasions even when we became adults, but most people need to learn from any mistakes they might make (of course, if it's a really bad choice, like drugs, where their life is compromised, then they really do need to hear what their doing is wrong). But if it's a matter of beliefs or sexual preference, then that it ultimately their decision...and you need to love them anyway! :)
    aschwer

    Answer by aschwer at 5:23 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • Agreed....My mom hates the fact that I date black men and I am now engaged to a man that she has no clue about....The reason is because the fights are horrible between us and I just CAN'T deal with it anymore. So I choose to not tell her ANYTHING....Don't do that to her....you'll lose out on alot of her life eventually!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • wow....anonymous, are you living my life?!?!....that was so going to be my response!...feel free to pm me if you wanna have a bitch fest!
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 9:09 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • As the other ladies have said, there are choices that our children make, and we don't always agree with them, but we love them anyway. My daughter has made a few of those. She knows that I love her regardless of her choices. She also knows that I disagree with her choices. We talk and keep the communication open. No reason to fight about it. Best thing to do is to walk on your knees. Daily prayer. The only way to get through raising children.
    ashkyef3

    Answer by ashkyef3 at 9:57 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • If she knows how you feel about this person, then she knows. Support her and love her, be nice and pray that things improve.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 12:02 AM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • The one thing you said was "her choice" She is an adult, so there's really nothing to do except love her unconditionally. Let her live her life and if something goes wrong, be there, when she hits rock bottom. You raised her to do well, make choices,etc, now its time to see what she can do with what she learned. Remember "we learn by our own mistakes"
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:48 AM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I'm in that same boat with my daughter.she's 22.If there is a room full of great guys and one jerk.She will fall for the jerk.Let him mess up her life.And then expect me to fix her problems.I cut the apron strings and from now on she has to live with her choices.The more I give, the more she wants me to give.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 2:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • I have 4 grown children and two of them have gone in the wrong direction. What you need to do is realize thatyou have done your job by raising them the best you could and that they are now grown and make there own bed and all you can do is hope and pray that one day they will have listened to you and get on track. Just love tem and stand back and let them make tere own way. If not they will never learn and Life is a learning process.
    shortcake23336

    Answer by shortcake23336 at 5:20 AM on Jul. 22, 2008

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