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What to do about my friend?

My good friend of 6 years had to let her boyfriend that she had a miscarriage. This happened about a week ago, & she told me, but she didn't have the courage to tell him. She told him last night, and it made her feel terrible about having to say something since he has been very excited about being a dad. She sent me a text message telling me she need me to call her ASAP, but I was at the time having an abnormally difficult time getting my kids to sleep, so I text her back that I would call as soon as they were down. That never got to happen as I gave in and let them sleep in my bed...and I ended up falling asleep with them. I woke up this morning to a text from her saying "Ur a BITCH", and now I'm totally disturbed by this. We've been very good friends for so long, but it never fails to annoy be with how absolutely self-absorbed she can be. I text her back this a.m....(continued).

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Dec. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • ...telling her that I was sorry and that I wanted her to call me at lunch. She still hasn't replied to the text, and I KNOW she will not call me (she's very stubborn like that). I don't want to lose my friendship with her, but I also do not want to chase her while she's having another one of her hissy-fits. I should've called or something, just to let her know I wasn't going to be able to call, but she does this all the time with other people. They will say or do something to offend her in the slightest, and she will totally deny them, and she will not ever, ever give in. Other people in the past have had to all but begged on their knees to get her to talk to them. I'm not willing to do that. Anyone with any suggestions?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Personally, I wouldn't stress about it. It's Christmas tomorrow and I'm sure you have enough things on your mind. Enjoy this time with your family. Deal with your so-called friend after Christmas. I would wait for her to call and make sure she apologizes. I understand she's gone through a lot within the last week but she can't take it out on her friends. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You have a family. Putting kids to sleep can be a NIGHTMARE! Don't dwell on this! Enjoy your Christmas. Hopefully she'll see that she did something wrong and call you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I had kinda the same situation. You dont need a friend like that. This girl i called my best friend was always doing this if i couldnt talk to her right then she would get mad. We have been friends for like 10 years and in that time I had a baby and she could not stand that I could not drop everything for her. It only gets worse. She came to my bridal shower and told me that my fiance tried to kiss her in our front yard(he cant stand her). I couldnt believe someone could do that you know lie to me about something like that. Well after putting up with her so long I finally stood on my own feet and told her that I didnt want to be her friend anymore. It was hard but I know it is best for my family. Do what is right for you and your family. Make sure she knows that she is not the center of YOUR world and you cant always drop what you are doing. Hope this helps. Good luck.

    Answer by Aidansmom2728 at 10:57 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Don't stress.

    She'll realize she was out of line and all will be well.

    Kudos to you for putting up with a difficult friend!!!!

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:58 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • You were right to let her know that you were dealing with your kids and you would call her as soon as you can. Your kids will cherish that time with you. You did nothing wrong. Don't go begging for her friendship. Thats probably what shes used to. If you get a chance to talk to her, let her know that youre very sorry, but you were tied up and couldn't give her your 100% attention and you wanted to. Just like you said, shes having a hissy fit like a two yr old. Let her go and if she values you, she will come back around. Don't stress over it and don't apologize for being a mom. You can apologize for how it made her feel, but you did nothing wrong. Stop being so hard on yourself.

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:56 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Why all the texting? Why not call her? If she is such a gfood friend you should be able to just talk to each other.

    Answer by NorahSethsMommy at 12:30 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • ok and i only read a few of the replies but am i the only one that thinks that maybe weather you want to hear it or not you are the one being self-absored here? i mean have yu ever been through a miscarriage? even worse have you ever had to tell the father you miscarried when he was so excited about becoming a dad? im sorry had that been my friend i would have called and explained to her that there might be kids screaming in the background but i was listening and if she wasnt ok with that i would have asked her to call me back in an hour or so while she is on the phone and can hear the kiddos screaming in the background and if i were in her shoes (i have been however CONT

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 9:23 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • when i needed a friend my "friends" where there for me) one almost lost her job for taking my call while she was at work!!! she kindly explained to me that she would be all ears after she got out of work but she still answered i think she has every right to be upset and even more so if this was her first its not like this happened a month ago and she is behaving this way IT JUST HAPPENED

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 9:23 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

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