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When is it too soon to give spankings?

I am so ready to pull my hair out. my daughter is 8 months old and she will scream and cry if your not in the room with her or shes not getting enough attention. She is soooo spoiled by my in laws. She will also scream if shes not getting her way already. What do i do? HELP


Asked by medicmom1296 at 11:35 AM on Dec. 24, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (12)
  • For all the answers that were negative as far as post partum depression and that this woman shouldn't have had kids and saying she needs therapy or placing your child in a cold crib ,y'all should be ashamed of yourselves!!! No wonder so many parents don't turn to other people and really do end up hurting their children or worse because instead of helping them or giving positive advice so many people are criticizing them. Obviously this mother is frustrated and is reaching out for help by asking for advice not your OPINION OF WHAT KIND OF PARENT YOU THINK SHE IS !!!!

    Answer by Angie32Red at 4:12 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I wouldn't spank before about 18 months, and even then it would be a slap on the hand. Before that, a child's grasp of cause-and-effect is not yet developed. She doesn't yet understand that she is being "bad," and she would have no idea why you are hitting her. A baby that age can't be spoiled. She isn't yet able to see a difference between needs and wants. You sound really frazzled, and I feel for you. You might want to ask your doctor to assess you for post-partum depression. I was constantly frustrated with my kids after the birth of my second, and when I fouond myself yelling at the baby, I realized something was wrong with ME, not HIM. A daily antidepressant helped me be the calm, loving mom I wanted to be. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Talk to your in-laws first and others around you about the situation and see if it resolves. I would never imagine hitting a baby, which at 8 months, your daughter is still a baby. If you are getting frustrated, maybe meds or therapy would help, as well as exercise or relaxation methods. Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • My son is 19 months and i just started swatting his little butt cause he is so naughty and skreetches all the TIME!!! He is really little for his age and i didnt feel like i could swat him till now but i agree with the PP i wouldnt til at least 18 months she wouldnt even comprehend what ur spanking her for at this age!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:11 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • The other day my daughter who is 8 months was screaming her head of cause I was trying to put her down to sleep. I tapped her on her big ole diaper booty and SHE SMIL:ED AT ME. I just thought it was funny. I get so frustrated with her and I agree with the first anonymous poster, go get evaluated for post partum depression. I think I should go do it as well. She cries hard then I start crying or I get frustrated and just go lay her down. If you feel like that too maybe go see a Doctor. Your kids just gunna do what shes gunna do at this age I think we need to alter our attitudes.

    Answer by nicholeluvslucy at 12:42 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Hey guess what..... babies cry..... and they NEED you...... incase you didn't get the memo... here it is..... it is your part to take care of their needs... which includes playing and loving..... if you wanted to be able to stick em in the other room and not deal with em... maybe you should get a fish and let someone else take care of your baby..... babies can not get spoiled.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • babies are startin to know better then i would spat her hand if i was u. not hard enough to hurt her but it will hurt her feelings.

    Answer by emilynross at 1:08 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Your baby needs more attention and holding, NOT a spanking. Spanking is not a good method of discipline, it does not teach children how to behave, only how to avoid punishment. You don't ever need to spank your child to teach them to behave. 8 months old is a very common age for babies to have separation anxiety. She needs love and reassurance. Most 8 month olds will be upset if they are left alone in a room!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 1:56 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • 8 months is entirely too young to spank... babies NEED attention and love; they don't need to be kept away in a cold crib away from their mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • If your inlaws are contributing to the spoiling of your child, speak to them about it and if they can't change then limit their contact with your child. Granted your child is 8 months old and as a Mother of five I'm not saying ignore her but at the same time it is not possible to hold your child all the time, you have things to do and take care of yourself. I would not spank her for wanting your attention but I would put her in her crib to cry it out. If you can't handle the crying then walk outside where you can't hear her for a few minutes and give yourself a time out so you don't get frustrated and or angry. It's not your childs fault for crying when she doesn't get her way and screaming when you aren't in the room where she can see you, it's a learned behaviour and she's learned somewhere that crying and screaming works to get what she wants. But under no circumstances should you spank her.

    Answer by Angie32Red at 3:58 PM on Dec. 24, 2008