Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why dont they understand?

I know the holidays are suppose to be time with family but I am 37weeks pregnant having contractions and pressure. And in PAIN. They wanted me to come to my sisters house tomorrow for christmas but I told them I would have to see because of the pain. Well it has gotten to were I can barely get up and walk around my house let alone go anywhere. They are MAD at me. And so is my mom who isnt even here she lives 1500 miles away. I have a 2yr old and a 1 yr old that I would like to spend the day with too. Why dont they get that I am hurting and understand instead of making me feel like SHI* for not going. I have been crying all morning about it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Dec. 24, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • How thoughtless and selfish of them to expect you in your condition to pack up and go "visiting". You need to take care of you and that baby inside you. Besides, with kids as young as yours you should be home with them in their house having your family christmas. If the other adults would like to see you and your family tell them they can stop by anytime. If they do not understand then so be it. Tell them Merry Christmas and hang up the phone.
    tessntylersmom

    Answer by tessntylersmom at 11:55 AM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Wow, honey, I wouldn't take it. Let them know that they have been there before! And don't do anything that you absolutely don't want to do. Like PP said, tell them they are more than welcome to stop by, but you're not going anywhere because you're in PAIN!
    srhmldndo

    Answer by srhmldndo at 12:03 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Im 37 weeks too and i have the same issues going on I just want to stay home with my babies and my SO but we were invited to his families for x mas sooooo i am going cause thats what he wants to do.
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:06 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Wipe those tears away sweetie! They are all in thier own worlds and are not thinking about you're situation at the moment, but they will feel really bad when all is said and done.
    'If you knew Karma like I know Karma, lalalalalalalala...'
    Just say "no, but thank you for the invite."
    Have fun with those babies around you! Take a load off! It is more responcible to take care of your health right now than to kiss b---. It's okay to smile!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I have been where you are. You need to take care of you first, your children second. If they cannot understand, just state your needs and move on. They will get over it. It is best to not argue your points, simply state that you are physically unable. If any of them have had children, they should remember how HARD those last weeks are. It is best to just do what you can, and not continue to talk about it with them. Your mother doesn't seem to have a clue, either! So sorry, I understand and YOU ARE RIGHT! You should not put that much stress on yourself. (i've had 4 kids!)
    Scimecamommy

    Answer by Scimecamommy at 12:29 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Oh the wonderful "command performance" and guilt trips. This is YOUR life not theirs, your children and your soon be born beautiful baby. Life is all about choices, your choice is to stay home and enjoy your family. If their choice is to be nasty about it, that's their choice. They will regret it. I don't understand family sometimes, seems to be very selfish and not considering you at all. They'll get over it! And Karma - what goes around comes around. I truly hope that you enjoy your Christmas Eve and Christmas day with your family at your house. Best wishes to you in the New Year and an uneventful delivery with a happy, healthy baby.
    Lvgonadream

    Answer by Lvgonadream at 12:30 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Tell ur family to shove it (you're pregnant you can get away with it). seriously tell them if they can't accept it then tough. don't let them get to you!!!
    ColleenF30

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • tell them to come to your house or shove it up their ass..my moms that far away too..i would tell her to fuck off or she could come see me..i also have 2 other children and preggo..mine are 2 and 3..i understand what you're goin through!! don't stress!! its your way or the highway!
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 3:22 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I'm agreeing with the others here. Stay home. Relax. If they don't like it, too bad for them. Just don't answer the phone!

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 5:37 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I feel with you. My family and DH family (biggest problem) don't understand that I am on bedrest and can't make a two hour drive.
    darcibeisheim

    Answer by darcibeisheim at 8:43 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.