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Non-Practicing Catholics.....I have a question

How would you approach this (if at all, being in my place)?

My BFF's brother & his family(wife, 2 small children) live across the street. They are Catholic, but non-practicing as far as I'm aware. A week ago yesterday, his MIL died of cancer in their home (she was staying with them). My BFF was here for days using my computer for the memorial stuff. At her wake, her husband collapsed & was admitted to the hospital --- he died last night.

They are having to arrange her father's funeral literally on Christmas and only a week after losing her mother as well --- in the home --- in front of the kids.

Needless to say... this is a rough Christmas for them.

Answer Question

Asked by Laura1229 at 11:50 AM on Dec. 24, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Practicing or not, they need some spiritual support. I am not sure of what exactly you are asking but if it were me I would let my Fr. know and the church will help and be there for all of you in prayer. Pray with and for your friend and her family. I am praying for you too. In our time of need and at a loss of what do do, always pray and ask. He knows what we need. He will provide in ways we do not expect, but in ways that are needed. Don't lose faith, keep hope and pray for guideance. He will provide the answer and what you need. He already provided you! He put you right there for you to comfort and pray for her! He is working through you and I pray with you! Much love to you this Christmas. You are an angel.

    Answer by NoDramaMamma at 12:00 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I ask how to approach this because I'm close to my BFF & her brother and their family (grew up with them), but I don't know the wife or her family much at all... and I'm not Christian.

    I have no issues being there for my friend & her brother ---- we're like siblings ourselves having known one another practically all our lives (she's been my BFF since we were 3). She'll be over later, I'm sure, to use my computer for all the funeral stuff she needs to make. It's the wife, though, who's lost her parents and needs the support right now....but not sure she or her family would even want a Buddhist offering condolences. I'm sure they probably don't even know I'm Buddhist... but if it came up.....

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:08 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Doesn't seem like you have a connection with them but I would just send a sympathy card and leave it at that if you want.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 12:11 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • I'm a sort of semi-practicing Catholic and would love for anyone to comfort me if I were in that situation. To me it doesn't matter what faith a person is. My experience has been that Catholics are actually more accepting of other beliefs than some other denominations, but that's just my opinion. I doubt she'd care that you're Buddhist and just appreciate any comfort you can give her and her family right now.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 12:15 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • You can still say I'm sorry to for you loss and if you need help with anything please let me know. Bake something. Take something for them to eat. etc. Flowers acts of kindness and love. :) which reminds me I better check on my cousin he's mom passed away a week ago.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:17 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • They would not mind one bit if you offered your condolences. Maybe get them a card and make a casserole or something or get them flowers. The good thing about Catholics is most of them embrace people even if they aren't christian. I highly doubt they'll sit there wondering what your faith is- they have much bigger things to worry about. Just being there as a friend and "sister" will help so much.

    Answer by abigail824 at 2:08 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • You could offer to watch the kids while they make arrangements, or include their kids in something like cookie decorating to give Mom and Dad some time and give the kids some fun time. Just tell them if they need anything you're willing to help and offer your deepest sympathy.

    Answer by Serafyna at 3:05 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Just be there for your BFF. Let her cry on your shoulder, don't try to say anything, just listen and let her guide your words. There isn't really anything you can say to make her life easier at this moment, all you can do is physically be there for her.

    Answer by feesharose at 10:37 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Condolences have no denomination. Neither does support. Do for her what you would want someone to do for you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:24 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • good answer gdiamante! thats what i say. if i were in their position, a buddhist reaching out to support and love me would mean just as much as if another christian were doing it. just tell them you are thinking of them, and react just as you would for anyone else...

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 2:26 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

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