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What could you do in this situation?

Hi Ladies I am a sm and I need some kind of comfort. I have been a sm for 12yrs. I loved when they were little bc we had them all the time everyweekend for sure.
Now they are teenagers and don't see much of them. They live about 2 hours away and we would pick them and drop them off. Now that it is X-mas I here that they will only be coming over for after X-mas and leave before New Year's. I don't get it I understand they are growing up but I can only imagine how my dh feels :(
It's like wham bam thank you mam :( Like they are just here to see what they got for X-mas. Atleast that is how they make us feel. I am sure they want to spend time too but it is at their timing. :( Don't be mean please I need comforting words for me and my dh. Thank U


Asked by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Dec. 24, 2008 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You know, when I was a teenager, I would stay just long enough, and then go hang out with friends. When they get older, and they grow more mature, they will come back. Then when they have their own family, they'll know the importance of family.

    It hurts for you guys, but there isn't much you can do. Why don't you and your dh do your own thing? Do you guys have kids together? If not, you guys should plan a little get away for next year. Not meaning to snub your steps, but to make your own Christmas thing.

    Answer by my4lads at 3:45 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Why don't you talk to them and tell them how their actions are selfish and hurting? I think sometimes kids need a wack upside their head to realize their actions are inappropriate.

    PS... What does sm mean? I thought it might mean single mom, but then you mentioned your dh.

    Answer by my4lads at 3:10 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Oh! Step mom!

    Answer by my4lads at 3:11 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • lol...Thank you for your opinion on this my4lads I am still learning how to but ur r right it could have been single mom.
    I have asked them and talked to them they pretty much just listen and say nothing or give me a smile like I understand I try to come often. I know there are growing especially being teenagers they want to b with their friends not with older but what can we do to soothe this discomfort:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Well I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I have always belived its not the quanity or time but the quality of time you spend with someone that counts. Make what time you have with them count..start some traditions and build some good memories with them now and they will come back for more when they are older and more settled.

    Answer by angie729 at 3:19 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Thanks Angie78...but I though we were making memories with them as they were growning up.
    Iguess we'll just keep making them. thanks anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • Its better than not seeing them at all, and thats one way to look at it. Next year, don't get them so much and see how they feel. I would give up all my gifts just to see my oldest daughter even for an hour, but, she lives about 2500 miles away.

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:16 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • To my4lads thank you for your kind words, you are totally right.
    And yes we have 2 kids together (5 yrs old daughter and a 7 yrs old son) they miss them too they always ask if they are coming over on a weekend and of course depending on what they (skids) have planned then I break the news to our kids.
    As far as there is not much to do about the situation it is my husband who takes it so hard he gets so upset at them. I tell him don't get so angry that is probably why they don't want to be here then he says I don't give a hoot (but with another word).

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Dec. 24, 2008

  • To Kat122 thank you for your kind words, true it is better than not seeing them at all.
    I could do that as far as not spending so much on them but those are my dh kids even if I suggest it I feel like he might be upset for even thinking that. But I look at it like this if my own kids don't want to spend time with me well then I am only going to give you what you give me.
    (attention and some time with me).

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Dec. 24, 2008