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How to deal with unsupportive dad?

Well I broke the news to my dad that I was pregnant today. Didnt go over to well he told me I was stupid, and that I NEEDED to get an abortion, i'd never do that. It made me so upset though. I'm 17 and know i'm pretty young to have a child, but it's not like I meant to do it. Atleast i'm trying to be responsible, you know. Well give me your input on how to deal for the time being.

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Asked by Mommy2Be172009 at 11:41 PM on Dec. 24, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (8)
  • That's just "dad's" way of trying to "protect" his little girl. DOn't abort though, just because he said so. My dad was basically the same way when he found out about me being pregnant, and I'm 20 and married! I didn't even tell him until I was 4 months, and he lives about 1500 miles away. He basically said me and hubby were too "young" and we're not ready for kids. (We've been married for almost 2 yrs now and this is our first) I don't know if you live with him or not, but I just don't talk to my dad. It depresses me to talk to him, so I just send him little email updates every now and then. Now I'm getting ready to deliver and he just left the country and won't be back until June. He told me he doesn't even want to see my girl til she is 6 months....Ugh...the nerve...

    Answer by srhmldndo at 12:00 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • I agree, it is probably your dad's messed up way of trying to "protect" you. I'm 25 and my SO and I have been together for years with a 3 year old and when I excitedly told my father I was pregnant his reaction was "You've got to be kidding me". I was a little surprised by his reaction, but I know his reasons...he panics over money and how expensive it is to take care of children now-a-days and I'm my dad's only child because he worried about being able to "split" love between two children...I just kept positive "Nope, not kidding, and we're thrilled...lose the attitude, you're having another grandbaby" and he did. He's actually really excited about it and a lot more comfortable with the idea that he can love two children equally.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 12:13 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • im 17 to and my dad was mad at first then after a few months of me telling him i was still gonna work on getting a good job and traning for it
    he got a little better and now he cant wait for the little one to get here

    Answer by 19bubbles91 at 1:38 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • What is he supposed to do - throw you a parade?

    Really - you cannot go off his gut reaction - give him time and show him you are mature enough to handle it. He will come around.

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:28 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • im 21 and my dad was a little less than excited also. are you the oldest or have other siblings? is this the first grandchild? im the oldest daughter out of 3 so i understand were he was coming from. it may be hard right now and it may seem hes not supportive. but believe me it will get better. im 31 weeks now and my dad is starting to turn into a grandpa already! he wont ever feel the baby kick, but he calls me to see how im doing and you can just tell that there has been a difference since i started to show. and his whole world will change when he holds that baby, or in my case the first grandchild. good luck, message me if you need to talk about this more. i know its hard.

    Answer by walkthisway522 at 9:04 AM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first and i didn't tell my dad until I was 6 months pregnant. He was pissed and told me the same thing. It hurt so bad when he told me to get an abortion. After the baby was born he loved my son like it was his own. My Dad never said sorry but his actions speak louder then words ever could. . Now I'm 27 and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. When people tell you negative things make sure you press harder to be a better parent. Don't let it get you down but let it motivate you. I was more focused to do the right thing bc I wasn't living for my self no more but for my son and I finished school. I bet he is worried about that. Best wishes with understanding from the heart.

    Answer by lisacieslak at 4:56 PM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • Thanks for all the answers. This is his first grandchild. I am the baby out of his kids, he might just not want me to grow up so fast I guess. Thanks so much you guys. I feel better about the situation already, i'm going to wait a little while before I call him though. So I can give him a little time to get use to the idea I guess.

    Answer by Mommy2Be172009 at 7:23 PM on Dec. 25, 2008

  • When I told my dad that I was pregnant with my first at 19 he went so far as to say he'd PAY for the abortion. He didn't think my the bf would stick around as we'd only been together for a few months and he was older. Well, Juan did stick around and we are expecting baby # 4 around dad's b-day this July and he is very excited. My dh and ds are the sons he never had, with 5 girls and me being the oldest. He will come around. I was nervous to tell my dad the second time but he was all excited even though I was only 21 and DH and I still weren't married at the time. GL!!!

    Answer by jombmomi at 5:38 PM on Dec. 26, 2008

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